Behind the Scenes of LIVE: Midlife, Menopause & Reinvention with Lori Schulweis

0:00 Do I have to do something? No, I think you're good. It has that we are recording. Perfect. Cool. All right. Then here we go, round two. Thank you again for rescheduling. I appreciate this. Welcome back to the Running Wine Mom podcast. I'm your host, Samantha Cieslinski aka The Running Wine Mom. Today's guest is someone you have actually known for years. You just didn't realize it. She is absolute television royalty, a woman who has spent three decades shaping the pop culture conversations we talk about around our kitchen tables every single day. From starting out in fashion communications and grabbing a master's in journalism at NYU to joining live with Regis and Kathy Lee back in ninety-five as a production assistant, she worked her way up to becoming a powerhouse producer on live with Kelly and Mark.

0:41 her as Schully the iconic voice reminding the hosts of the date, the mastermind behind national TV fitness challenges, and the co-host of the hit podcast Everybody Talks. So without further ado, let's welcome Lori. Welcome. Hey, how are I never know if I wanna have like two ears in or one. Um I I I've gonna I'm gonna combat two words you used in that intro, royalty and iconic. You are, Lori. Um, but thank you for those kind words. Uh I appreciate it. I mean, I feel like I've been around forever and you know, just uh hanging in there like everybody else, I guess, you know.

1:21 Yeah. Hence why you have that title. Like you've been in it for long enough. I know. I know. So besides royalty, tell us about yourself. What did you th did young Lori think her career was gonna be and h what was right, maybe what was wrong? How did you get to where you are today? Um well I you know, I wanna s I think I well, I don't know if I should refer to this before, but I think I had said to you that when I was a kid, I definitely loved I was like a big fan of like Carol Burnett and Lucille Ball and I didn't I didn't think of that I was like, oh I want to be them, but I want to be them in some way. Like I did you know, I wasn't like the kid who like wanted to be an actor or be in front.

2:06 Um, but I definitely knew I wanted to be in entertainment in some way. And then I also really had a love of special events. I think like if you talk to me when I was in college, um And also right out of co and during college I had an internship with uh the city of Chicago and I worked on all these huge events and I really wanted to do these huge events. And I think my dream was always to be the mastermind behind the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. To me, that was like the be all end all of all the moving parts of an event, like the balloons and the floats and the talent, and you know, it was like this big iconic there, that's iconic. A big iconic thing.

2:47 And um I think that I started out that way in my career. I worked um for uh Fern Malice, who is now kind of like this uh fashion doyen uh and she at the very beginning I was hired. My dad I'm I'm not saying this in any coherent manner, I realize, um, but I started out at the International Design Center New York, which was a subsidiary of a company my dad owned. So I was a little bit of a Nepo baby, but ve a little but very far removed um from him. Like I didn't work for him. I worked for Fern and we did all of the special events and uh publicity and marketing, which I think marketing was a little different back then in the early 80s and late mid eighties than it is considered now.

3:36 Um for this International Design Center, which was in Long Island City, Queens, trying to figure out how to get people out there. And we'd have all these like amazing events. And yeah, I really thought that that was home and that was like the be all end all for me. And then there was kind of like a change in um management there. And I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I realized that I in addition to events, I really was interested in television and going into television and wasn't sure what that meant, but I ended up with a graduate degree from NYU as a journalism major. And thought I wanted to be a reporter. Like, you know, and I my I had professors who did think that I had the talent to do that.

4:22 I have, you know, very funny stories with hair that is bonker's hair from, you know, nineteen in the yeah, late eighties, early nineties. This was like the early n I guess it was like ninety, ninety-one. Um, and while I was in school, I also still work for Fern and we did these like uh amazing events still. We did a An event where peep architects designed cakes and then the best cake makers in the city made the cakes. And it was like this biggest it was um shoot, what was it called? I have a poster somewhere and then I can't remember now. Um but it was an amazing so I did that and I went to school and then I realized that I really didn't want to go to the middle of Kentucky or move to Iowa, that my family was here, that I wanted to stay in New York, and I decided that like maybe behind the scenes was best for me um at the time.

5:17 And so I, you know, I ended up with an internship at WABC. I worked in the commun community relations department. This is like a long story. It's getting there, I promise. But um I ended up in the communication in the you know, like uh they did community affairs. And so we did all these specials and Artmore, who anyone would remember from our show, he's he also is iconic. was the executive in charge of production and the pro programming director at W the local WABC and he and I got along great. I was put in a position where uh there was kind of like a disagreement between these two my two bosses and I told the truth, which it's a this is an advertisement for having integrity and always telling the truth in certain situations.

6:05 Don't, you know, just yes people. uh a l a a lesson learned and I got hired at live like as a PA in like you said, nineteen ninety five. I ended up there. I thought I was gonna stay one year and I blinked my eye. I am now uh just rounding out year thirty one. been there forever, been there through every host that there is, from Kathy Lee and Regis to now Kelly and Mark. Um and we've, you know, endured and I've endured there. Um so that's kind of like I I don't know, in some ways doing a show every day I guess kind of feeds into that special event kind of feeling that I that itch that I think I still have.

6:50 And um and it's it's fun. It's just super fun. Yeah. That was a long answer to a show. No, that was great. I love hearing about like the start, you know, you started in the eighties, you ended up in the twenty twenties now. A lot of people they do. They change their job every few years. What kept you there for so long? in that position? Um, you know, I think that you know, my dad uh when he was alive hated that I had stayed there. I have stayed there so long. And I used to think, um, you know, I was very close to Regis. Um, he was definitely like a dad to me. Like I had a a a real um bond with him and I always thought like, oh When he leaves, I'll leave, you know, 'cause then I won't want to stay there anymore.

7:37 Well, he left and and now I have that with Kelly. Like I feel like I'm, you know, it's like I feel like I the where I stand in front of them every day holding the date and during host chat, um, you know, I they talk a lot to me, you know, uh unintentionally or intentionally. I'm a good my laugh is somewhat famous on the show. It annoys people and some people love it. I think it annoys me. but I think also the people behind the scenes, like we are a real family. Like we there's the same group of people. I'm not an anomaly of working there for so long. There are people Gelman has been there forty five years.

8:17 Mm-hmm. The if this woman Dolores has been there forty five, almost fifty years, I think. Um people have been there thirty five years, thirty years, you know. I think we have a couple short timers right now. And I say short time that they've only been there shorter, but like, you know, five years or less. But the majority have all we've all really been there together. A lot of people started out as interns at WABC like I did. That a lot of people started out as interns on the show and now they're producers there. And, you know, we've been through marriages, births, deaths, divorces. you know, there are no there's no group of people that I would rather have my back in any situation than this group of people.

9:01 Look, I don't love them all the time. I mean, we're a very dysfunctional family, but when it comes, you know, when pedals to the metal, uh, they're the best. They're just the best staff there is of any talk show out there, I think. Yeah. I keeps you there. Yeah, I feel like that's so important in any job. Like you could not love your job every day, but if you love the people, it makes the job so much better. Like and that's that's good to know. You never know when you're watching like behind the scenes if people really are as like, you know, fun and and friendly as they make it seem when everything is aired. But um that's that's so great to know.

9:42 Yeah. I mean i you know, even Kelly and Mark, to their credit, like what you see is what you get with it was what like every single person What you saw on TV was who they are. And I don't think that I could work in an environment that wasn't like that. Yeah. From the talent on down. And so Regis, he gave you your nickname and it stuck with you. Um what did what did Regis teach you maybe about interviewing, timing, making guests feel comfortable that no journalism school ever could? you know, it's funny when he um started calling me Schully my dad got a kick out of it because when he was a kid They called him Shuly, which I thought was like kind of funny. And um so I felt like, okay, that name kind of fits.

10:26 And it stuck long after Regis. Um, but I think he, you know, he was an everyman. Like he he yes, was he it took him a while to achieve the fame that he did towards the end of his life. And I think he appreciated that. Like he always used to joke, like his mom would tell him, you know, Mr. Big Shot, you're, you know. The poor house is just around the corner and he had kind of that like depression mentality that can all be taken away. But as far as dealing with people, I think that he he kinda taught me to like be kind to people. Like people it makes their day sometimes. And and look, you referred to the fact like people definitely know me. Like I could be in the middle.

11:08 Trying to think of what the weirdest place and they're Americans, but I the weirdest place. I think I was like in a market in Athens and someone came up and recognized me from the show and you're just like, What? Yeah. You know? Or like there's a security guard at the Metropolitan Museum of Art and he's like, Hey, Shuly you know and I'm like, You watch the show? Really? And so, um But you have to be kind to people, like really give them their due. And I also think as far as and it's something that I really put to try to put to good use on the podcast now, is to be a good listener. Like you wanna really want to listen to people. I think that interviewers, um, I think Kelly does that for sure.

11:49 you really have to if you're asking a question and you have to really listen to the answer, it not just think about what the next question you're gonna ask is, but also maybe You're curio like I think I am naturally curious. I'm a naturally curious person anyway. And so I always think of if if I say something or you say something that spurs another question that's not on a sheet of paper in front of me, I ask it because that's I feel like that's what people I try to be a voice of what people actually want to know, what I not necessarily what I think they want to know. Which there is a there's a combination of both for sure. Yeah. but I feel like he was a really good and and he was an amazing story storyteller.

12:35 I I try to kind of emulate that as much as I can. I don't know that I've done it right now on this podcast, but No, you're doing great. Um I definitely try think about how he could make something out of nothing. He can make standing in the wrong line at the wrong time be the funniest thing that ever could be. So you try to see kind of the ridiculous in everyday life and also to tell a good story about it. Yeah. That is something that I have not mastered yet is the storytelling. Like I just love when you're with someone. I remember um there was this woman, not to you know, when you're saying about listening, but like this woman um we have a there's a really good Halloween display near us.

13:20 She was like the queen of Lambertville. um doing all of these really and I we got to go in and sit and talk to her. And she was talking about where her grave plot is put and the way that like I would be like, yeah, we put we got my plot on top of that mountain over there. The the story that she was telling about when she wants her kid the first snow I want my kids to come and build a snowman and the way that the leaves are in the area. And I'm thinking, oh my God, I need to learn this talent because this is just I'm sucked in. I I wanna be buried there too, you know? Yeah. Totally. Totally. It's a it's a it's a s it's a rare art to be a good storyteller and to really hold an audience, you know.

14:02 Yeah. I don't think that I do it all the time. I definitely don't do it with my friends. I I have a hundred tangents. We I recently Jen and I recently uh we went to dinner with these two women and I don't think we finished one conversation. Which that's not the indication of good storytellers. Um So you've been through all of the hosts. Um so what is something behind the scenes that maybe stayed the same in every era, but and what's something that viewers maybe wouldn't know has changed behind the scenes? Um that is a good question. I feel like what has stayed the same as us is Gelman, is the staff, and I think having that continuity, and I think he would say this too, actually, Gelman.

14:49 that having that continuity behind the scenes makes for a seamless transition between people in front of the camera. Um and I feel like we all know what the show's supposed to be. Like I don't think that any of us think that we're curing cancer, but I think that during times of stress, during times like COVID, during times like nine eleven, that just you know, the twenty fifth anniversary of nine eleven just came up and I saw the clip from that day until they took us off the air. And it is really the way I forgot h what um I forgot how good both Regis and Kelly were because you have your own feelings about that day and what you were feeling.

15:41 How good they were of kind of explaining when we knew nothing what was going on. And how there was like a calming sense to that then. And um I feel like we kind of know that that's our that's our lane and we kind of stay in it. And that we know when things are you know, it's a rough world out there, especially nowadays. And to know that we wanna give people an hour that is light and fun and funny. And, you know, I think that we're best when the most cockamy things happened. I mean, I'll give you an example that that was just from yesterday.

16:22 You know, I if anyone's familiar with the show, we have a this trivia game and we play every day. And we call someone at home and someone tries to stump mark with these two stuff. Mark is very serious about it. And so there's a guy named Noah. He calls the callers and then he and I kind of go over the statements and make sure there's nothing like wonky or we'll get anyone in trouble, whatever. So he calls me. I was actually walking in the building. He's like, You're not gonna believe this, but the caller is here in our audience. my gosh. So we didn't did not tell Kelly and Mark at all. It was a surprise. And so Mark says, you know, on the phone is so and so and so and so. Hey, how you doing? And all of a sudden the voice comes from the audience, Hey Mark, I'm doing fine.

17:02 I'm right here. The looks on their faces, I mean, it made for such a fun, yeah, like crazy. I mean, I kinda watched it today 'cause I you know, you're s you're in it and it's just as fun to watch it. And so I think that that kind of willingness to go with the flow that stays with every host. Um You asked another part. So that's what's kind of stayed the same. I think what's different is is that we do try to bend to everyone's strengths. Like you know, like Rejis was the storyteller and he was game for like anything. He would do anything. And Kelly's like that too. And I think that Ryan was like that.

17:44 And, you know, and Ryan was such a broadcaster, like he was such a good on air not that they're not. I'm I'm like mincing my words because I was like, Yeah, don't want to insult everybody, but I don't think anyone would disagree that no one could read copy and no one could kind of host like an award show or something better than Ryan Seacrest. And so or like New Year's Eve. Um and so I think we try to bend to their stress their strengths. Like not everybody is the best, you know, at something, but they're really good at something else, you know, like Ryan wasn't into sports, but now Mark is like a guy's guy. He loves sports.

18:24 So like now we talk about sports every day. And so I think that that's we kind of keep the show the same but kind of bend it to the strengths of the pe the two people that are there, you know? Yeah, that's so important. And great that you guys can make those changes because I feel like sometimes people are like, Well, no, Regis did it this way and you need to do it that way. And so I feel like it's not gonna work if somebody else does it the way Regis does. You know? Um I think like one thing that Regis did that Kelly and Mark intin do and every host did and was he goes into the audience during the commercial breaks, which I think is unique to our show.

19:05 I think that if you went next door To the studio next door at the View, I do not think those ladies come in and talk to people. And that was something that Regis did from back when he was Joey Bishop's sidekick back in the sixties. Joey Bishop would say, In those two minutes, you're gonna lose you know, people don't realize how important the studio audience is to a show. Yes, we do it for the millions of people watching at home, but the people in the studio are really part of The experience that is being broadcast. And it's really important. Yes. And that the it's really important that they stay engaged. And so Joey Bishop says, like, look, go out there and talk to them.

19:47 And he maintained that throughout his career on our show. Every host has done it since. Kelly and Mark go into the audience, they sign books, they take pictures, they chat, they ask questions, and it keeps everybody engaged. And I think that that's something that people don't see. Mm-hmm. Um, unless they're there in the studio. And that really makes our show special. Yeah. As just like someone who would be in the audience, like if I went to a show, I wouldn't expect, you know, the hosts to be coming. That just makes for such a story for the people in there say, and then you make it makes you love them even more 'cause it's like, my gosh, they're so down to earth or or they are I'm good enough to talk to them type thing, which is um You know, I think it's just so important for people come in with photographs they took with Kelly.

20:36 I mean, Kelly's been hosting the show twenty six years. They come in with pictures from twenty-five years ago and show it to her, or like some little girl comes and now she's an adult and she's here with a little girl. It's like crazy when you think the show next year is our fortieth year on TV. And that's a long time. That's a really long time. Yeah. It's very long. Um, so you are behind the scenes, but you've, you know, come to become the interviewer in your podcast. Everybody talks. Can you talk about how you decided to go from watching the interviews to becoming the interviewer and why it was so important to you? Yeah.

21:17 I mean, it's kind of um I'm I have a very close friend, Genji Amo, who was is a personal tra not is, what was, is personal trainer, nutritionist, is kind of like this health professional. And COVID came and it kind of decimated her business, which is all about in person, training. And so, um, you know, she it was like before you kinda knew what was happening and how to pivot and the create the, you know, Zoom, which I didn't know existed before I don't think anybody did. I mean like people did, but I don't think to the extent now. Um, now it's so common, you know, and but um She decided to start kind of like this wellness group.

22:00 And so, you know, I'm a yes man. I I I don't I'm not a yes man at work, but I'm a yes man to gen. Which I think she'll agree. And so we started we wanted people to join this wellness group. And so a lot of people knew who I was and and uh so followed me and on Instagram and we started doing these Instagram lives. And we did them every week and we would just talk about what was going on and what was coming up and what workouts we were doing. And I think it was Jen's mom who kind of referred to it as the podcast, you know, when you do the those podcasts that you're doing. And so then we were like, Wait, can we do a podcast? And so um I reached out to a close friend of mine who's a television producer who had uh produced this one podcast, asked her advice and You know, it's I I think maybe you could agree that doing a podcast even after three years, you're on a weird learning curve that never ends.

22:59 There's always something new, there's always something you have to do. We like get a thumbnail on there. Like I mean, all of it. It's so it's it's a really ever changing and there isn't anyone who doesn't have one, which you know, like even three years ago we felt like everybody had one and now really everybody has one. Yeah. Um, and so we just kind of set on this road to do kind of like this health and wellness bent. And um I think I my role is, you know, I always say I'm the dum dumb because I am. You know, Jen gets lost in the science of people that we've had on. And um I think it's a good marriage of question and answer and the people and interest and also, you know, the nuts separation in our age.

23:47 Um which she teases me, you know, that we're in different generations, even though we technically are not. But we're you know, we're enough years apart that I've already gone through some of the things that she's about to go through. And and so I feel like we've kind of made our way with it. And we've with some success. I wanna I don't want to say total success, if there are any sponsors out there who would like to sponsor an up and coming health and wellness podcast, but I feel like As far as guests, we there's very few people we in that space that are like kind of the rock stars of that space from like Dr. Mary Claire Haver and Vonda Wright and um those are the two that come to mind right off the top of my head.

24:31 But we've really talked to everyone in this space and it's really fun. We just have fun. We just have fun. And people seem to like our chemistry together. And so yeah, it's a different I often when I'm sitting there asking questions, I often am like, Well, what would Kelly say or what would Mark do? And um kind of uh put myself in that position because I feel like that's you know, everybody has some sort of imposter syndrome that they're going through. And I definitely feel that on the podcast. When we sometimes when we get on, I five minutes before I'm the worst. I five minutes before Jenna's I'm like, What are we talking about here? What is this? What does this mean? And she's she kind of rolls her eyes, she explains it to me, and then I don't know, it ends up all working out, you know, in the end.

25:17 But I think I think as a listener of podcasts, sometimes when people and I love the scientific I love listening to the scientific things and the really, you know, in depth and learning that stuff, but then sometimes I'm like, wait, I don't understand that. So I feel like having someone who maybe is asking the questions that the listeners are asking in the car, um, you know, is really important. It's such an important because Not everybody's gonna understand all of the long terms and you're like, oh, that's that's that's what that means. Okay, that makes sense to me. So Yeah. I mean, I it always cracks me up when someone has said that they listen and they like are talking back to us and then you know then you know you've done all right.

25:58 Then you know that you're doing what you're supposed to be doing. Yeah. So um a lot of my listeners are in like the thirty five to forty five age range. They're either coming off of having babies and their hormones are all messed up, or they're going into perimenopause, um, or they're entering menopause, early menopause. Um, what would you tell my listeners? Um, maybe that's something you wish you knew at the that age about the life changing into the perimenopause and menopause? Yeah, this is a super easy question to answer. Is all about HRT, like all about a hormone replacement therapy. I feel like, um You know, there's a lot of breast cancer history in my family.

26:39 I had uh grandmother both grandmothers, my mom, um, my sister, like everybody's had some sort of run in with it. And because of that, you know, when I was starting to go and also, you know, um it's interesting because my mom passed not to take a turn here on this podcast, but my mom passed away when I was sixteen and so she was thirty nine years old. She I there are some r rumors we can't confirm it and now no one's around to confirm it that we think that she may have had a hysterectomy at some point. And so um it's interesting when you don't have that person ahead of you who went through menopause could first of all, no one was talking about it.

27:26 That's that's the one thing. Like especially when I was forty six, forty seven, you know, in my fifties. I no one was talking about it, even then, even as much as Five years ago. Not a lot people don't Really? I agree. And so but learning now about how hormone replacement therapy doesn't really cause cancer and that how important it is and how there's estrogen receptors all over your body from your head to your toes, that your body is like screaming out for it when it's all of a sudden disappearing. And you know, all these things. There's so many symptoms. And I realized You know, because no one really had talked about it with me and it was before we started this podcast, um, I had a day at work where my heart was going bonkers.

28:15 Like I was having palpitations. And actually, Gilman, to his credit, it's like, Don't screw around with your heart, go to the doctor right now. I did I was put on a heart monitor for like a d twenty four hours. I was fine. I was then put on blood pressure like beta block or blood pressure medicine, but What I don't think I realized was that was a symptom. That was a perimenopausal symptom that I was going through. But it would never occur to these male doctors that that's like the age I was and that that's what was happening. And there's and there's that's just one example of a hundred things. I mean, besides like, I mean, I had bad hot flashes. I always waited for Jen to have. Go through half fleshes, which she has she's yet to do, and it's really irritating to me.

28:55 Come on, Jen. I know, exactly. But you know, she has plenty of other things that I didn't have. And so I really think that if you are especially I Jen was just talking about this on our podcast, that there are new studies out that that mention that perimenopause may start as early as thirty five. Mm-hmm. And that you need to go to a doctor. Which may not be the OB who delivered your babies. It it has to be someone doctors are not taught very much about this. I think things are changing. But I feel like it's really important to be brave enough to ask the right questions, not just say okay when someone is telling you not no no, it's too dangerous not to do that, but to kind of do your own homework and and also I learned that it's never too late.

29:43 Like I have a plan. I I wanna go on HRT now, even though I'm I'm within that kind of tenure window past menopause now. I have a few more years to go, but it's just gonna make you feel better, look better, you know, help your partner out, help your kids, you know, like it's just gonna make you a happier person. I see the difference in women uh who are on it and who are not and it's a It's it's huge. And you just have to like find the right, it's hard. That's the hardest part is finding the right doctor and figuring out. Yeah, it's so hard. You need to really have someone who A believes that this is the right thing to do. And you know, B will really listen to you.

30:27 You, you're the only one who's in your own skin. You're the only one who could say, Hey, my ear itches, or my I have frozen shoulder, or I have bad hot flashes. Not just hot flashes, but it's like you're the only one who knows those things. Important to go to a doctor that hears you and pays attention to that. So that I wish that I had known. Yeah. For sure. And and then another question, I feel like at, you know, once you get past like 35-ish, you're a lot of women are like, Am I being lazy? Am I genuinely exhausted? And a lot of these are high achieving women who are used to pushing through. How do you learn to tell the difference and give yourself that permission? Like, you have to rest. This is just the You're moving into a different phase.

31:08 Yeah. I don't have an answer for that because I feel like I'm even like that. Yeah. Tired literally all the time. And I don't have I mean, I don't have kids. I mean, I yes, I have two dogs that keep me busy, but and I have a job. I've really two jobs that keep me busy. But um I think it's really hard for women to take time for themselves, even if it's like five minutes. And I feel like they don't realize that Um, I don't wanna say they're hurting themselves, but in a lot of ways they're not giving themselves the I ha I hate this phrase, give yourself grace. I I absolutely hate it, but sometimes it's the only thing to say. I know. I feel like you have to give yourself grace and be like, Okay, I just need to shut myself in the bathroom for ten minutes and be quiet, you know?

31:57 Yeah. Or, you know, get enough s make sure I get enough sleep or make sure I go to the gym. You know, I'm very impressed with you, Sam, that you like Or at the gym. I was like, do I have time to work out this morning? Uh no. No is listening. Listen. I and my gym just got back like blowouts after no, I saw that this morning on your Instagram and I was like, What is that? That's amazing. Yeah. It's I'm like, yeah. I I it I'm only seven minutes from my gym, so it's not like I had to you know and I didn't have to take my son 'cause my husband's home. So it did make it um you know, a a little bit easier, but I do try to prioritize it.

32:39 And and I was saying on a podcast a while ago, my mom really prioritized exercise through like me growing up. And it was one of those like aha moments when I was talking to a runner. and she like she was like a you know record breaking marathon runner. And, you know, she's like, moms really feel guilty about working out and and running. And I was like, wait, I I actually don't really ever have that guilt. And then I was like and we were talking about how my mom did like, you know, the runs and the the workouts. And she's like, that's probably why, because you realize, Oh, my mom's out for a run. Good for her. Like, my mom's going to work out. Good for her. You weren't sitting at home like, my God, my mom is gone for forty minutes.

33:20 Like I can't survive type thing. Yeah. Yeah. I think that it's really important. Like you just do one thing that You know, look, for me, it's I mean, I've said this ad nauseum on our podcast, but like that walk in Central Park in the morning is everything to me. It sets off the tone for the whole day because I get to be outside, the dogs are happy, I'm happy. Like right now, like we're recording this, it's the fall, the leaves are changing, it's even it's beautiful, it's beautiful in the fall, it's beautiful in the spring, like it's like a four season, you know, Central Park is a four season gift, you know. Um and so yeah, you just have to pick like the one thing and if it's it's for your own mental health and and uh being happy, you know, and you're not gonna serve anyone.

34:08 No one you know, um we had Dr. Gail Saltz on our podcast who's been on the show many times and who I think is one of the best therapists I've ever met. And she says, you know, there's no no such thing as perfection and also There's a fight between perfection being perfect and being good. And that's a big difference. And you don't have to be perfect. And sometimes I'm gonna quote every podcast we've ever done. And sometimes good enough is really good enough, you know? And I think until you realize that for yourself, and pay attention to your own advice and what you tell friends and And you know, and I also think like having people around you, like having a good friend.

34:54 I mean I have a to have that good circle around you of people, that gets smaller. I wanna say that circle gets smaller as you get older, but it gets better as you get uh older. Yeah. You know. Um, so what myths about menopause drive you crazy and maybe what's one thing that experts agree on that women are ignoring? Wanna say all the things that everybody always says. Um and I'm not a doctor and I do not play one on a podcast, but or TV. But um I think that myth about HRT drives me crazy because I see it in, you know, there was a woman in my office who l did listen to me and went on HRT, was not happy on it, and then went off and her mom didn't want her to go on.

35:48 because you know she was afraid uh everyone's afraid and then she realized and she went back on okay eventually and so I feel like that kind of myth is that that it's like dangerous or it's not good for you. Yeah. Um look if estrogen gave you cancer, every woman on earth would have cancer. So Right. Yeah, you're right. And again, I mean don't quote me on that either. But No. Um and then What was the other part of the question? I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Something that maybe doctors are talking about that like people aren't it maybe isn't at the forefront.

36:29 Yeah. I mean the things that are at the forefront right now are sleep. Right. Everyone wants to eat all that protein, get that glass cheese, the protein, protein, protein. I mean, you want to blow your brains out, but Yeah, I know. And um the strength training. I feel like um that really is at the forefront. I mean, I love I love Dr. Vonda Wright and she's become kind of a friend uh to Jen and I and she's an orthopaedic surgeon. Um and so her her thoughts about like being strong in does not only include muscles but it includes bones and like jumping up and down.

37:10 If you jump up and down literally just jump up and down twenty times every day. That's enough to help your bones grow. And I'm like, what? Say what? And why is that? You know, of course I'm like, that makes no sense, but okay. Yeah. I feel like it'll make me hurt. And I feel like I feel like what is about to explode um is this par what we were talking about earlier, the perimenopause and getting women s at 30 or 25 or 30 or 35 really thinking about that. And what they're going through and and realizing what they're going through. And I think that they are, but I feel like there's a couple of books that are about to come. Yeah. Um, and I think Vonda Wright actually has a book that's coming that's about peak.

37:54 I think it's called Peak, and it's talking about how to train yourself in your 30s, late 20s, early 30s specifically, out of my age range, and how to set yourself up for success. And I feel like that really is the next wave that in this kind of perimenopause, menopause space, that there's going to be a lot more attention now shifted to perimenopause than actual menopause. Well yeah, I feel like you go through puberty and you're like at those awkward phases in the twenties you're like learning about yourself. In the thirties you're like, okay, I feel comfortable and then bam, you're like going through your biggest change since puberty again. And now you have to relearn everything and totally.

38:36 If we had, okay, in your twenties, you actually yeah, you can do this, but you gotta also do that too to help her in those thirties. Yeah, totally. I mean I it I really think that that kind of preparedness. Like I even looked at my I have a sister who's thirty seven, thirty seven or thirty eight. You know, she's just had a baby, but I feel like I already am thinking like, okay, you have to like do this stuff. You know, you have to um And again, every doctor says it's never too late to start any of those things. So Yeah. that's good to know. You know. No matter how old you are. So that's always reassuring. Well, let's get into a little bit of fun stuff as we come closer to the end.

39:18 You have rescue pups, Oliver and Frankie, and your life in Central Park. what have your dogs taught you about slowing down and being present that maybe a wellness expert hasn't? That's a really good question. Um I feel like they just you know You know, dogs are daily creatures and they're creatures of habit. And they do the same things every day and they're so happy to do them. Like Frankie can't they can't wait to go to the park. The minute I take the leash off, they run. And they are much to my chagrin, eating the grass and, you know, doing their thing.

40:02 And I feel like that's part of it. It's like taking every day as like your last day. You know. Yeah. As simple as that. Because they just don't they just don't know any better. Um, you know better. I mean, Oliver is, you know, twelve and a half, he'll be thirteen in next May. And, you know, he's going through some health issues and it's really stressing me out. But he doesn't know it. You to look at him in the park and he's he's you know, running look, he's not Frankie in running circles, but who's she's Think she's about I I keep like I think she's been four for like two years, but I'm gonna keep it rolling. Um I don't really know how old she is. But you know, she like goes runs and plays and chases a ball and does all the young things.

40:47 And Oliver is, you know, when he sees a dog, like he he's a good example of like also it's never too late. He goes running around, like whenever I'm like worried about him, I watch him in Central Park and I think like, What am I worried about? This dog is so happy. He's had the best life. They go running in. Oliver runs into his daycare today the same way he did twelve years ago. Like he runs in, he's happy to be there. He's happy to come home. He's like, you know, he's sleeping on his bed right now. I usually they're Frankie's right right with me, but you know, I feel like they they just live it, you know. It's a dog's life is the best life as well.

41:27 And it is so true. Someone feeds you, someone Yeah. You know. They live yeah, it's like the excitement that they have every day of like it's like childlike where you're like, my gosh, I wish I got that excited about, you know, a coloring book, you know, or whatever something, but with the dog, you know, dogs, a park. You could see a park. Sometimes I don't get excited to see a park. Every time a dog sees a park, they're excited about it. So happy. Yeah, I mean, I go up to visit a friend in Rockport, Massachusetts, and Oliver has been up there quite a few years now and we get to a certain part of the drive and he starts to cry because he knows he's close to his happy like he loves it there.

42:08 And that excitement that he still feels is like everything. I I mean I you know and I didn't know in the summer I didn't know what you know, I was waiting for a blood test and I didn't know where I was with him. Um and he's doing very well. But um I took a vacation from my vacation and drove five hours just so he can go to Rockport to like You know, 'cause I was like, I who knows? Like life is short and I needed to give him this. Meanwhile, you know, he's fine. We'll definitely be back there next summer. but um so I guess that I don't know if that was an answer. Yeah, no, that's super fun. Um, let's do a the qu quick question round. yeah, yeah.

42:48 Do this too. I'm not good at this, but go, go. You'll be all right. All right. What's your I think I know the answer, but what's your perfect New York City morning? Um, I guess a perfect cyclic morning is beautiful sunny sky, sixty degrees, a walk in Central Park with the dogs. Yeah. pre-show ritual you never skip. That is a good one. Free show ritual that I don't skip. I know wait it was very funny. Back in Regis's days, um, you know, he would never want to this is gonna be a longer answer than he's bargained for. But I'll get around to it.

43:29 he never wanted to give away his stories. Like he wanted the first telling of his stories to be on television. And he and whoever, you know, Kelly or Kathy Lee, they never spoke before the show. Not because they didn't like each other, but because he didn't want to ruin it. And I also am kinda like that when I when we're we get on for a podcast and we start having I'm like, Okay, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, let's go. Um, so but in order to get himself hyped, we would have a meeting of the club, which was me and these two other women who work there. And he would walk in about ten to eight and he would look at me at my desk. He'd be like, Shuly, let's go. And he would motion to me and I would have to come up every day with like a story. I mean, when I was dating before I was married, I'm divorced now, but Like he would want to hear every dating story.

44:14 He would want to hear what I did the night before. Like he would a and that would be kind of like a pre-show ritual. I feel like you know, now I don't think I have as many things, but I know that when the show moved all the way downtown, I used to you know, I walked to work with the dogs. my god, d how many times can I say I walk in Central Park with the dogs? As many, as many as you want. And I thought that walk was coming to an end and now I get up a half an hour earlier just so that I could walk them to their daycare and then I get on the subway and go downtown. So I have to say that walk before the show is super important to me. Like that, you know. And the cup of coffee that I have.

44:55 I get up early. Get up at four thirty. I was like, I need more than one cup of coffee. Yeah, for sure. Um that's so fun. I love that he did that because that probably gave him like the you know, pre interview without giving anything away. We had our own host chat before. And I I remember being stressed out about it at times because I'd be like, what am I gonna do? What's a story? And I there was a time where the two other women had left and it was just me. Oh I was like, I really have to come with it. I really have to come with the stories. Oh, that's awesome. Um so if your midlife journey had a theme song playing, what would it be? God.

45:37 super hard 'cause I am I love music. I um You know when um my God. It's a big paw. You've stumped me. I'm a big old movie musical girl. Like I am not, it's not gonna be some rock song that you are is gonna come out of my mouth. Not Billy Joel, not Madonna. but I can only think that um like show tunes kind of get me hyped. And I I think that Um, especially when I was in college, when I was feeling down, I would listen to the score of Dream Girls.

46:22 Okay. Um, and so, you know, and not just like the famous end I'm telling you, but I would feel like any You know what? I'm gonna change it to because Gypsy is my favorite musical. I will say everything's coming up roses. I love that. That's good for really any season of life. So it's yeah, it's perfect. Um, all right, who's most diva, Oliver or Frankie? Oh, Oliver by far. Oliver, if we are walking down the street and he doesn't want to go away, he does not we do not go that way. Oliver, for sure. And if Oliver and Frankie were co hosting uh had a co hosting gig on daytime TV, what would their signature segment be?

47:10 Um It would be some sort of It would be this is what I found on the street and it will make a great meal. uh That would be a fun second for dogs. You know, if I imagine the dog I've known near relatable, right? I mean, Frankie was on the streets of Puerto Rico for easily two years before she was rescued and she just trolls. Oliver has lived the life of luxury on the Upper East Side for his whole life. And still it's I I mean, it's like I don't feed them. Yeah. my yeah. Well, that's the enjoyment of their everyday. I know.

47:51 Um, well, this conversation has been wonderful. I'm gonna leave with one last one. Midlife, it can feel like a season of shift, where roles change, bodies change, we're suddenly like, who am I? I'm not running out everyone else's life. For the women listening right now who feel their identity has drifted into the background, what's um something that you would want them to hear today? Um, you know, it's funny. We've talked to a lot of women in their forties and fifties and not as many in their sixties, which I'm six I'm sixty-three, that's not a secret. Um, and so which I feel proud that I feel like I don't act right like that at all.

48:32 Um and I remember we had Jenny Garth on recently and talked to her and she was excited that her fifties has kind of given her this new chapter and I feel like Jen feels kind of the same way. And then she asked me, like, what are what do you say about your sixties? And Tay Leone also said this on our show recently 'cause she just turned sixty. And I was like, I think you have to realize how important it is to do things for yourself. And that I know it sounds so pat, but that you end up caring less about what other people think. And if you Life is short and if you don't want to do the things that you don't want to do, guess what?

49:12 You don't have to do them. And you should only be doing things that give you joy and happiness and uh make you feel good about your life and the way you've lived your life. It's like I always say you know, I always tease Jen, like I feel like I'm rounding the bend. And, you know, Jane Fonda's the best example of these final this like third chapter, fourth chapter. Um, I also think that it's also never too late to reinvent yourself. Like, I feel like women are unique in the fact that they do look ahead, think to themselves, what do I do now? You know, like, okay, I'm done with that. Okay, what should we do? let's start a podcast. what should we do now?

49:52 Let's do events. Let's what are we gonna do now? I think women are very good at at uh They don't just reti they don't retire. Like I'm looking forward to retiring so that I don't have a day job that I'm committed to every day that keeps me working, you know, long hours. But on the other hand, retirement doesn't mean do nothing. It means what am I gonna do next? And I think like always look for that. What what is next? What is the next thing that is gonna bring you joy and make like this kind of final I hate saying final, this next chapter of your life. enjoyable so that you look back and you think like, Oh, I did that.

50:32 Is it climbing a mountain? Is it walking the right, you know, Camino Day, whatever it is? Is it just being home with your dogs? Whatever that is, find it and do it and and know that it's never too late to find it and do it. So I love that. That's great. And I think the more that the less that you like care about impr impressing other people, the more you're gonna find the people that you actually align with. Like the the When I stopped being like, my gosh, I have to wear this and act this way. It's like you actually find people that you're like, there's people like me and I'm happier around them than these other people that you're trying to impress. Yes. You care so much less.

51:13 And in caring less about other people, you care and what you're gonna do, you end up caring more about yourself. Yeah. And what you're doing. I love that. Well, I think that's gonna be a great place to stop. So thank you so much for coming on. We went everywhere on this conversation. I loved it. Uh you know. No, I loved it. From, you know, perimenopause to doll what adult TV segments. I am I don't really run anymore and I'm not a mom. But No, I love it. But that's you're a yes person. That's what you know, and I hope, you know, my listeners won't get a lot from the conversation because I just loved it. It was so great. Um Well, thank you so much for coming on, Lori.

51:55 This was great. Um as always, thank you to the listeners for spending time with us today on the Running Wine Mom. Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. You can follow me on Instagram at the running wine mom underscore and Lori, where can the listeners find you? Uh, you can listen to me. You can find me at Shuly at Everybody Talks on Instagram. You should go to our YouTube channel on Instagram on Insta on YouTube channel for everybody talks. We have a million episodes that We'll cover everything. And also I can I promote our wellness group on here. So if you are listening and you want a group of like-minded women who just like talk about their life, there's no, you know, that we don't have a workup plan, we don't have a diet plan, but we just have like a group of women who are around the same age, which is a pretty extensive range.

52:46 and you wanna have questions answered or just shoot the You know. uh I won't swear on your podcast. Uh please go to our website, everybody talks podcast dot com and check us out for join our wellness group. Perfect. I will link all of that. So thank you so much again for joining us today. Remember, you are strong, you are capable, and you are all amazing. Until next time, keep running, keep sipping, and keep embracing the joy of life. Cheers, and I will be back next Tuesday. All right.