Aug. 11, 2026
Chanel Valentine Haynes: Embracing Her Legacy While Building Her Own
What happens when the world thinks it knows who you are before you’ve had the chance to define yourself?This week, Samantha sits down with Chanel Valentine Haynes—entrepreneur, creator, mother, founder of Mom for Life, and daughter of hip-hop icon Nelly—for an honest conversation about identity, motherhood, relationships, ambition, and becoming the woman you were always meant to be.Chanel opens up about growing up in the public eye and the pressure that came with having a famous last name. She shares how navigating a private school environment where she often felt different shaped her confidence and sense of self., why motherhood completely shifted her perspective on relationships, and what she’s learned about giving both herself and the people she loves room to grow.They also get into something so many women wrestle with: Can we be ambitious and independent while still wanting softness, love, luxury, family, and support?
For Chanel, the answer is yes—but she’s also learning that having it all doesn’t mean doing it all.In this episode:
- Growing up as Nelly’s daughter and building her legacy
- The unexpected impact of fame and visibility on Chanel’s self-esteem
- Dating when you have to question someone’s intentions
- Why Chanel’s views on relationships changed after motherhood
- The difference between “settling” and allowing your partner room to grow
- How motherhood helped Chanel slow down and become more intentional
- Entrepreneurship, ambition, and avoiding burnout
- Why women shouldn’t have to choose between softness and success
- Learning to accept help instead of always doing everything yourself
- The childhood experiences that shaped Chanel’s instinct to nurture
- Why she created the Mom for Life platform
- Giving our parents grace when we finally understand how young they were
- What Chanel hopes her younger self would think of the woman she is today
Mom for Life Podcast on Instagram: @momforlifepodcast
Facebook: The Life of Valentine
Connect with SamanthaInstagram: @therunningwinemom_
Website: The Running Wine Mom
Subscribe to The Running Wine Mom wherever you listen to podcasts, and if this conversation resonated with you, share it with another woman who needs the reminder that she doesn’t have to fit into just one box.
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Do you have people who think that they know you
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so it gives them a certain level of entitlement.
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Welcome back to the Running Wine Mom podcast. I'm your host,
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Samantha Slinsky aka the Running Wine Mom. As women, we
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are constantly told we have to choose a box. Are
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you an ambitious boss or are you the soft, nurturing mother.
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Are you building a legacy or are you holding down
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the home front. Can you love luxury and high fashion
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while also doing gritty on glamorous work of healing and
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self discovery. Well, my guest today is living proof that
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you don't have to choose, You can want and have
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it all. Chanelle Valentine Haynes is an entrepreneur, at creator,
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a mother, and the brilliant mind behind the Mom for
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Life platform, where she is completely redefining what it means
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to nurture ourselves and our ambitions. Now, you might also
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know her last name, and you might know her dad
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as Hip Hop Royalty. But today we are peeling back
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the public perception, the social media grids and the headlines
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to talk to the women behind the visibility. We're diving
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into the reality of balancing boss energy with deep softness
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and what it actually takes to reinvent yourself when the
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whole world thinks they already know.
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Who you are.
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So without further ado, let's welcome Chanelle. Welcome, Thank you
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so much, thanks for having me. That introduction was amazing. Well,
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you're amazing. I loved researching. I love researching all my guests,
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but it's just so wonderful to highlight what my guests
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are doing. And I think it's important to remember that
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you are doing such amazing thing for the world.
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So, besides my intro, tell everyone about yourself. Well, I
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am a thirty tween year old mom of one, and
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I have been an entrepreneurship almost all my life. I've
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had several jobs here and there. I've lived in two
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different states for more than two years. Pretty, i would say, extrovert.
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Pretty extroverted. I love a family time and getting out
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and doing athletic things. I'm very competitive. I've always wanted
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a boy as a child, two boys, to be specific,
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but one for right now. I've always created since a child,
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I've always created something, but something that always came from
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me wanting to better the world in some sort of way,
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like me always wanting to find a solution to a problem.
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Around me or a problem that I was saying. I
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think being exposed to so much at a young age
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allowed me to not only see the issues, but seeing
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my dad prosper in what he has done has made
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me believe that I can also be a person that
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can solve these issues. So yeah, my podcast is just
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one of those many that I wanted to speak and
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give a platform to women mothers like myself that touch
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subjects that a lot of people may fear to touch
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or also you know, want to talk about and just
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don't have that comfortability in that platform to reach people with.
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That's amazing and so important and I am excited to
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talk about that. I want to talk a little bit
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about you, because when you walk into a room, there
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is sometimes a name that's often maybe walking in before
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you do. When did you realize that you had to
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really actively work to ensure that you know, your spirit
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was louder than your last name.
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Great question. I don't really know the age, but I
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can feel that moment when I think about it, of
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when I was like, okay, if you want to make
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the impact, and again, the impact doesn't have my mindset,
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wasn't that it had to be as brand as my
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dad's impact. But because you're already on a platform, it's
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going to be more than you, more than me. I
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think at the time, I want to say a particular
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time was in college. I felt like in college I
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decided last minute to even go to college for art
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instead of sports. And that switch for me was because
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I wanted to do music and I wanted to be
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an entertainer, and I knew like, in order for me
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to make my own name or just to have a
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name that again stood next to my dad versus under
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my dad in a sense, right, it was going to
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be me creating my tribe in college, right, or doing
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the things that was gonna make me connections and be
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amongst the people. I figured that out in college. I
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feel like one of the moments and well, what were
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you going to go to college for sports? What was
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that original? Basketball? Basketball? I loved basketball. Basketball was my
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sport too. Yes, okay, we got the position? Were you
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a point guard and shooting guard? Me too?
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Yes, yes, yeah, I was a two yeah, and then
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point guard when you know, when needed, I.
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Guess yeah, yeah, yeah, you're saying it, saying yeah, I
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love that.
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So you know, I think people assume growing up around fame,
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that's gonna automatically equal confidence, but sometimes visibility it really
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makes people hyper aware of themselves. To being connected to
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someone famous make you more secure or more self conscious growing.
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Up, more self conscious growing up. And I have to say,
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I know I keep saying good questions, but that right there,
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I've never been asked before on the several interviews that
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I've done overall, just and I really like touching on
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this because I have touched on before through my platform
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about me having acne at in high school and how
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I went to a predominantly white high school, middle school
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and it was a private school at that and I
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just struggled with my appearance, believe it or not, like
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I felt like I was because majority looked a certain way,
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that I was standing out and that I wasn't as
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beautiful as presented, as presenting as others. So I definitely
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struggled with feeling like that on top of having all
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the eyes on me all the time, right mm hmm, Yeah,
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and on top of being a minority in my school. Yes,
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so I used humor, believe it or not, I was
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a very I was a very talkative kid in class. Yes,
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I was very funny. I got along with a lot
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of people. I was in a lot of different crews
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and clicks and still was like social. It didn't really
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stop me from being social, but I will say it
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definitely affected my relationships because I was just very I
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was like, I feel like people think I'm supposed to
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be like my acthting's supposed to be clear because I
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have money, and they think that I'm supposed to just
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have it figured out, and you know, because I didn't.
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It was just like it really it really hindered myself
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in a lot of different ways.
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Yes, I really cannot imagine being a teen going through
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all of the things that teens are already going through
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and then just like having this spotlight on you and
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then like you said, you're you already have the spotlight
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on you, and you're in this space where you know,
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there's the blonde hair, white skin, and that's already different
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than yours. And I'm sure it totally I could see
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how that makes someone feel like, you know, yeah, it's
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probably very hard. So I applaud you for you know,
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working through that. I mean, I'm sure it's better now.
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Hopefully it's better now. Yes, yes, yes, so kind of
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in that realm. Let's talk a little bit about maybe
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modern dating, because it's really crazy out there. But add
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in again the public spotlight to when you know you're dating,
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it's a whole different game. How do you kind of
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vet a man to make sure he's interested in Chanelle
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the woman and not that spotlight around you.
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Well, when I was vetting, I would say it was
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one of those things were like time would tell. I know,
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it's very cliche, but time definitely tails. And I used
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to be big on like putting things to the test
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here and there, but then I just learned comically, it
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kind of messes up the game a little bit, if
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you know what I mean. You know, so I kind
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of just I really just focused on doing my own thing.
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I focus on showing up as me and then just
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being clear minded enough and being intentional enough that things
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happen and I'm able to catch it because things are
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always happening, right, It's more about me seeing what's happening
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and acknowledging it and accepting it for what it is,
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versus trying to make it into something else or you know.
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So it's very hard. It's always been tough. Girl, Like
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if you asked me. I was supposed to be heard
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by now. I was supposed to have my kid at
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like twenty five. I was supposed to have found my
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person so long ago without the work and the you know,
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the groundwork. I feel like I've done with just growing
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and you know, things naturally happening. But timing is everything,
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I guess, you know, just like I do believe timing.
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Yeah, I do believe timing is everything, even though it
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is annoying to sit there and say, like, your time
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will come, but yeah, and probably very difficult, you know, yes,
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but I think I think it will. And you want to,
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you know, you don't want to settle for someone just
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because like you're of a certain age, and I think
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that is something important that just everyone needs to kind
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of remember.
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You know that you're worth.
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Your partner's just supposed to like highlight some things about you.
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You know, Yeah, you're already a great person.
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Thank you. Function. I want him to say something about that,
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right because I saw a post the other day and
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it said it's settling, really settling, like meaning when you
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look up and you think like, Okay, I'm in this
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relationship with somebody and things aren't as good, you know,
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I met them at a certain point in their life,
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or meet me at a certain point in my life.
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Right as mothers after a baby, we tend to spike
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a change very quickly. So the males might stay the same.
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Some might grow very quickly as well. It just depends
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on the mail. But let's just say they don't change
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right away. Right. Some will say if you stick it
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out with them, that you're settling because here you are
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very mature and the other person hasn't caught up yet. Right,
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so here I am. If I'm stay in this, I
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might be settling because he hasn't reached the potential that
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I now see that I want, because back then the
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potential probably was fine. Like back then I was ofcome
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with the things that he was doing and the things
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that he put you know it was And even if
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I wasn't rolling with them, you still stuck around to see. Right,
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So here you are, like I said, past motherhood and
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the maturity has hit you as a woman. But then
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your God might got caught up yet again. Is it
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really settling or are you just ditching that problem now
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because you feel like you've shot up in maturity and
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he's behind. Well, if I look at it like that
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you're gonna continue to leave people behind because how many
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people are gonna change when you change exactly at that time?
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How many people are going to are you going to
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catch up with? If you do find somebody better at
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this at this particular moment, you don't know what they're
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if their position is going this way or this way
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from who they are now, you know what I'm saying.
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So I definitely think it's about you know, finding that
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person that you're going to stick with and you know,
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stick with them, and that's why I'm at now. So yeah, no,
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I totally agree.
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I think I think we all evan flow at different
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points of our life, and you're absolutely correct, like hopefully
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we're not the same person that we were when we
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were you know, fifteen or twenty five or thirty five,
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but like we're going to be growing in different you
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know time and hopefully, like if you have the right person,
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you're gonna grow and they're gonna see, Okay, look at
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how they leveled up. I want to level up with you.
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If that's the right person that you're supposed to be with,
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you know.
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It, Yes, And it's definitely those core things, right, I
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guess when you know, there's there's the core things like
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you know, I would say personally like physical harm and
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stuff like that, like okay, yeah, like don't like. But
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that's anyone. That's not just relationships, right, if you're in
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a parent a parent child relationship, a sibling relationship, you know,
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you put boundaries up when things hit back forward. But
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again that's general, that's not just settling in a relationship.
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So like you're saying, like, at least if that person
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is saying, like, hey, I'm trying, I'm willing to grow,
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why you're growing, And again it may not look the
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way I'm learning too, it may not look the way
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that it looked when you were growing, you know what
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I'm saying. So even that within itself I had to
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learn and honestly motherhood has taught me this because my
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dating life before this and before my child's father, I
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would say it was very fast, very quick, very like,
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oh if this doesn't match, I'm moving on to the
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next mm hmm it, you know, just to get a
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bit personal too. I'm not a person that just has
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to be intimate to see where things go, you know, sexually,
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So it was definitely like if the vibe wasn't right
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in the first two weeks. I was like cutting things
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short and I'm like, girl, you're not even giving it time. Yeah,
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you know, you're like, let's move. What's moving. So I
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