Aug. 9, 2025

Jeff & Steph talk St. John Vianney, Suffering and Conversion

Jeff & Steph talk St. John Vianney, Suffering and Conversion
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Father John Vianney was a priest, he became a saint in 1925.  He is the parton saint of Priests.  He was known for his no nonsense approach combined with extreme compassion.  Through his sufferings he was able to kick the devils butt. 

Steph gave her conversion story, Jeff...well,,,he proibably said something intresting.  
Jeff & Steph will be releasing two podcasts a week for now, talking from a Catholic perspective about history and mystism in the Holy Bible.

You can watch and listen to Stephanie on her YouTube channel - In the Service of the Queen - where she talks about the blessed Mary     https://www.youtube.com/@InTheServiceOfTheQueen

You can catch Jeff on numorous podcasts   https://coolcasts.cooolmedia.com/

Please follow These Times on whoever you listen on, so that you don't miss an episode.

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Hi, and welcome to these days. I am Jeff, and

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we'm here with Steph. Today we'll be coming from a

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Catholic perspective talking about history and mysticism. Steph, are things

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out there in Nashville?

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Well, hey, Jeff, it's a really important day here in Nashville.

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We are actually doing our priestly ordinations today. And you

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didn't know that, which is kind of cool that you

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had said, you know, the last time, let's talk about

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John Vianni, who is the patron saying of all priests,

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and so today in Nashville, right now as we speak,

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it started at ten thirty and it is ten thirty

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nine here in Nashville as we talk, they are beginning

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their priestly ordinations. I have one really good friend when

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I worked at the cathedral, Joseph Go shout out to him.

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He was a seminarian that helped us out several summers,

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and really sweet priest from Vietnam. We would go around

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searching for good Vietnamese food in Nashville, and that's actually

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has quite a bit of Vietnamese food is kind of

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popular here. But then he spent all night, He stayed

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up all night cooking us a traditional Vietnamese dinner his

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last day. He's just the sweetest guy, and so he's

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becoming a priest to day. Really excited for him.

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That's really cool. I think the reason that I got

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the name Vianni actually, and it's kind of like along

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those lines. You know, we're a small church out here.

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It's not like the big cathedrals or anything. It's a

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small church. Well, one of the girls from out here,

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well she's a young woman now she's actually in Omaha, Nebraska.

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She is saying her vows is and none today and

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she took the name or her name was Maria Maria Vianni.

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Oh awesome.

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So I think that's I think that's why John got

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into my head.

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That's cool. Well, like we said, the Holy Spirit's going

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to lead this, and he's definitely doing that. And we're

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having priestly word nations here in Nashville. And how how's

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the weather in Buyers, Colorado today?

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You know it's really nice. Now, we had a really

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hot couple of days. I mean, we don't never get

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out above one hundred and it's been one hundred and four,

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one hundred and five hundred and three, and so today

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we're going to be eighty eight, So that's pretty cool.

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That is nice. Yeah, we've been having a heat wive

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here and we're all grateful if it's under ninety for sure.

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Yeah, and luckily we have the dry heat, we don't

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have the humidities.

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It's always nice.

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Oh, I know. Yeah, y'all, y'all are lucky. Y'all are lucky. Well, yeah,

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so I was, I was doing a little research on

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John Vianni last night, and there's definitely some very very

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significant and just amazing mystical things that he encountered. What

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stands out about.

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Him to you, Well, let's just let everybody's i mean

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not most of the Catholics at least they've heard of

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John Vianni. He's the patron saint of Price, right, that's

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why we're talking about him today, right, And just a

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little background. He grew up over in France, and it

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was during the French Revolution over there, and they had

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outlawed Catholicism pretty much all religions pretty much, but they

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outlawed Catholicism. So he but the priest, you know, they

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would still do it in secret and you know, just

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trying not to get caught. Well, here was like a

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little thirteen year old boy. He just thought those priests

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were like Superman. He thought they were so cool that

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they were defying everything, and he thought, well, that is

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really neat. And then he got two nuns. Actually they

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obviously were kicked out of their homes and all that

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kind of stuff, so they were actually underground too. Well,

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they secretly, you know, gave him his lessons so he

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could take his first communion. Then when he's fourteen, they

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secretly got him to he could be get his confirmation.

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Then after that he thought, well, I want to be

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a priest. I'm going to be a priest and all

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this kind of stuff. So after the revolution took got over,

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then they said, okay, now you can go back and

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do Catholicism again that was not legal, so he was

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actually sent to it's called the primary seminary where he

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was actually basically just taught this basics history, geography, Latin

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and all that kind of stuff. Well, they kind of

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moved him on, they didn't think so because they thought

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he might be a little slow in the head. So

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then they moved him on to a secondary seminary and

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he was basically learning all the same stuff, but he

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was really slow and that people thought, you know, man,

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this guy, he just doesn't have it. And what they

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didn't know is during the French Revolution, he never went

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to school. So all these kids who were in there

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to be priests, you know, they'd all been going to

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school and he hadn't. So that's why he couldn't get

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Latin or anything like that. Well, he was gonna finally,

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he was just so pious. You know, some people just

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emanate it, you know, they could. So some of the

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people they said, don't, don't kick him out, you know,

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let's just keep him, you know, and all this kind

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of stuff, you know, let him go. So he went ahead,

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and he was getting ready to become a priest. Well,

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he got drafted into Napoleon's army. So and normally being

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a man of Napoleon was bad, but he still had,

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you know a little bit of respect for like priests

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and that kind of thing, and normally there would be

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a waiver if you were going to be a priest. Well,

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Napoleon started getting his butt kicked, so he wanted everybody

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to join his army. So Vianni got drafted. Well he

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was like okay, so he actually showed up. He was

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on his way to go serve and two days before

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he was supposed to be report and on his journey

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he got really sick and ended up in the hospital.

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So the rest of the troops went ahead and they said, okay,

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will you catch up with us. Well, after he got

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out of the hospital, he went to the church to pray,

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and he came out of the the church and this

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guy came up to him and he said, hey, you

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don't really want to do this, do you, And he

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said no. He said, well come with me, and he

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took him into the mountains out there in France, really isolated,

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and it's basically it was all deserters from the Napoleon's

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army and who were hiding out there. And in the

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winter it was so remote that the fringe army wouldn't

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look for deserters out there.

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So he was out there.

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He started a little school out there, and then the

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weather got warm, of course, so then all of a

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sudden the soldier started. So whenever somebody said the soldiers

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are coming, well they he would be buried underneath the

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bail of hay, you know. So then finally after nineteen

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months of that, Napoleon went ahead and just pardoned the

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month said okay, if you're a deserter in my army,

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you don't have to. So then he went back and

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finished up his studies and all that kind of stuff.

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They still didn't think he was very smart. So what

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they did is they said, okay, so they put him

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in this really tiny chearch. The town had like two

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hundred and thirty people. So John got out there and

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he kind of started thinking, you know, because of the

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French Revolution that basically there was no any kind of

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religious discipline. These people they would work on Sundays, they

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if they weren't working, they'd be in the tavern drinking

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and booze and all that kind of stuff. So he

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started actually railing against him, saying, hey, you know, if

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you're not coming, I'm not going to give you a solution.

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Well that got their attention, so they started coming and

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then worried about this priest in this little town who

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was really stern, but he was the most compassionate human

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being they'd ever met. It spread so finally John he

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ended up attracting crowds from all over. Twenty thousand people

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a year would come to hear and Masley confession. They

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said he had been sixteen to eighteen hours a day

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in confession with people. Let's leave the one really cool story.

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One day he was in there giving confession and there

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was this long, long crowd, I mean it, and this

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woman she came up her husband and committed suicide. So

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she was really kind of worried about it. So she

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was like, well, I'm gonna go talk to this great

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priest and everything like that. And finally she realized, man,

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I'm never gonna get to him. I can't even get

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close to this crowd, and so she was kind of

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bummed out. So she said, all right, so she turned

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around and started to leave, and she started to leave,

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all of a sudden, Behanni. He came out of where

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he was doing confessions over the crowd. He scrounded. He

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made it, You're okay, And she couldn't believe it because

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there was a thousand people between him and her, and

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everybody's goind of looking around. Who's he talking to? And

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she kind of looked at and pointed, like, are you

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talking to me? And he said so really slow, he said,

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he made it. He is in purgatory. You must pray

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for him.

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Now.

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Between jumping off the bridge from that paraphlet to the water,

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he had time to make an act of contrition and

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everybody was looking at her and looking at him, and

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so yeah, definitely, you know that way, he's a saint.

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That is an incredible story and just the power. I

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want to say something I had, So, you know, I

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watched a little video of a priest that admires him

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last night and put on when he became a priest.

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I think it's interesting that he grew up in the

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French Revolution because I feel like we're coming into those times.

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I keep hearing God say in my head it was

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the best of times, it was the worst of times,

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you know. And that's Charles Dickens's book about the French Revolution.

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But I feel like that those are the times we're in.

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So it's really cool that we're talking about him. And

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when he first became a priest, he said this prayer,

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and this is what struck me last night, and I

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couldn't get it out of my head. He said, Lord,

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grant me the conversion of my parish, and I'm willing

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to suffer whatever you wish for the entirety of my life.

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Now that's a big prayer, you know.

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And he did live it.

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He did, He did live it. They say Satan would

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torment him at night. He didn't sleep more than a

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couple hours a night because Satan would pick up his bed,

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twirl it around, throw it up into the ceiling. He

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had torments from Satan his whole life. He got to

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the point where he's like, well, I might as well

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not even try to sleep, and he ate pretty much.

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He ate one potato a day. He barely ate. He

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just spent most of his time in prayer. But that's suffering.

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I mean, that's something that Catholics kind of know. The

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Catholic Church does teach the value of suffering, that God

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uses that grace or the conversion of others. It's not

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something Protestants understand at all. It's something that I've lived.

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For sure. I've been given a lot of grace, but

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I actually have suffered quite a lot. So that just

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really struck me that he would pray that prayer. Oh

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and then it was also known that Satan had actually

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encountered him at one point and said, if there were

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three priests like you, if there were only three priests

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like you, my kingdom would be done.

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I believe it.

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And you know what we talk about in suffering, and

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all that kind of stuff and everything. Oh the thinking,

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they don't people who suffer for God, they don't want

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to do it. Janni, he actually ran away with these

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thousands of people here to see him. He ran away

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four times. In all four times he ended up coming back.

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And after the fourth time, I'm assuming there must have

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been a chat between him and Jesus or God or

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something out there. So it finally came back and just said,

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you know what, I'm there, this is my lot in life.

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I'm just gonna say. All he wanted to do is

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be a monk. That's all he really wanted to do.

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He didn't want to do it with people, right, but

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he just had such a grace of conversion on him,

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the ability to convert people. And Yeah, I think I

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think there's such power in our suffering. And I don't

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know what if if I want to encourage, I want

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to challenge priests, any priests listening to this. I mean,

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this is these times. That's why you and I started

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this podcast, that these times we truly need. If we

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if we had if the if the devil was speaking

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the truth and there were three priests like that, I mean,

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the times for mediocre priest and luke warmness is over.

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That's done. So I mean, I challenge any priest to

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be to be a padre po, to be a John

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Bonni and to say that prayer grant me the conversion

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of my parish, and I'll suffer whatever you want for

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my entirety of my life. And Jesus loves us. He's

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not going to just bring more than we can handle

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on us, right, Like, yeah, we'll have to suffer, but

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there's also joy. There's also all the saints suffered and

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that they also reported there was joy in their suffering.

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Correct, And a lot of people I don't think realize too.

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They want the priest to pray for them. But you

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need to pray for your local priest too, you know, right,

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show them your support and give them.

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A little help too, right, because they are the most attacked.

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They are very attacked by the enemy. And you know,

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my priest friend says priests are the most attacked and

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their mothers, interestingly, are the second most attacked. And I

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would say married couples are right up there with a

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marriage's marriage is so attacked these days, because well so

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that leads me to my level. So I read that

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last night, or I heard that he had he'd said

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that prayer. I woke up at five o'clock this morning.

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In marriage reconciliation has been a big thing in my

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life for the past three years. I don't mind sharing that.

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And at five o'clock this morning, it just hit me.

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And I guess, you know, I've always known, like, Okay,

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I'll suffer for you God, like whatever you want, I've

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given my life to you. If you're baptized, that that

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should be your prayer. But I guess it's just like

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that journey from the head to the heart. So I

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don't know if it was the Holy Spirit or Jesus

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himself or Saint John Beyonni. But at five o'clock in

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the morning, I had it just come on to me

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so strong, and I said that prayer. I said, God,

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grant me the conversion and the reconciliation of my marriage,

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and I am willing to suffer whatever you wish for

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me for the entirety of my life. And I meant it.

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I met it with all my heart and soul. I

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know my vocation, and I felt free. I think, I

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think when we're afraid to suffer, that's how Satan keeps

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like a noose around our neck, Like our whole society

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runs around trying to avoid suffering. Like take this pill

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if you have a headache, take a tile on all immediately.

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Like if you're a sad eat some ice cream, or

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go to porn or go to alcohol or hook up

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with someone. You know, we just we constantly are trying

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to avoid suffering. And that's really how we stay in bond.

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And like, at five o'clock in the morning, I felt

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so free, I felt like so happy, so free. It's

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I don't know, it's like running like that, running running

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away from a fear of your whole life. And then

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finally you face it and you're like, no, God, I'm

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willing to suffer whatever you want to fulfill my vocation

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that you're calling me too. I know you're calling me

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to this. And then all of fear left me, and

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even the broken the broken heartedness that I've been carrying

291
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around left me, and I just had a joy when

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I woke up this morning.

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Well it almost kind of had a little mini rebirth

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there today. Then that's really cool.

295
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Yeah, yeah, And I'm not scared, like whatever God brings

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on me, you know, I'm not willing to suffer for

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what mankind brings on me. But whatever God deems necessary,

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that's fine. And I know I trust him, you know,

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I trust him. He's not going to give me you

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know what the Bible says, I have. I have plans

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for your good, not for your harm. So I mean

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he has good plans for us. We need to trust him.

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He loves us.

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Well, that's the hardest part is people letting go and

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just trusting, because if you trusted him, you're not going

306
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to be scared going to go away right.

307
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Off the That exactly exactly, and it did. And I

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think I think we hold on to like I'd given him.

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I had surrendered certain parts of my life, but it's

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like there are certain parts like, uh, I don't know,

311
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I don't really trust you. I'm not gonna let go

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of this little part right here, and I don't know

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today I'll let go of all of it. And he's

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put me through a job season where I kind of

315
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lost everything, so it's like not like I have really

316
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anything to hold on to anyway. So yeah, God take

317
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it all. I'm willing to I'm willing to suffer whatever

318
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you want from me for the to fulfill my vocation.

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And just think of that. Like, just like Satan said

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to him, if there were only three priests, my kingdom

321
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would be like you, my kingdom would be done if

322
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every married couple would pray this prayer. Lord, you know,

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grant me the restoration or the salvation of my marriage

324
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and my spouse, the conversion of my spouse, the salvation

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my spouse. That's what marriage is. Anyway, We're here to

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get our spouses to heaven, and I'm willing to suffer

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whatever you wish for the entirety of my life. Then

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every marriage would be restored, every marriage would be glorified,

329
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the family would be replenished. Satan would have no stronghold.

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I mean like literally the world would be transformed. I

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would say in a matter of months if people actually

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would pray that wholeheartedly, and our priests would pray that.

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And that's the way you said. You said it wholeheartedly

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with all your heart. And that's I think a lot,

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Like I'm including myself a lot of this. We'll say

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a prayer, but it's just kind of like it's almost

337
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like a Santa Claus list. You know, Hey, God, you

338
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know you don't It's almost kind of like a wish

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list or something God, can you get me out of this?

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You know?

341
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Or rightiz, Hey God, I could really use help finding

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a parking spot.

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You know.

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It's like, yeah, you're not really throwing it out there,

345
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but when you really mean it from your heart and

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he definitely.

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Listens, then definitely And that's love. And I and this

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is what struck me too, because if we're only going

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to God when we want something, you know, why aren't

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we going to God saying what do you what do

351
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you want? It's so rare for us to go to

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him and go okay, And I'm always asking you for

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what I want? God, what do you want? And you know,

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love is not selfish. Look at first things is it

355
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is not boast it is kind, it is patient, it

356
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is it's always giving, keeps no record of wrongs, and

357
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it's not proud. It's not boastful. And like if you're

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if you're not really willing to suffer for God, then

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then do you really love him? And and for your

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spouse in marriage too the same like, if you're not

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willing to suffer and sacrifice for your spouse, then it's

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not really love. I'm going to challenge people. I'll be

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bold and say it's not really love. You might be

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in it for lust or an ego boost or comfort

365
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or security, but if you're not willing to sacrifice and suffer,

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that that's not love.

367
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Yeah.

368
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Well, people really don't take those vows the way seriously

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as you know they did in the old days. I

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mean they just yeah, okay, we're going to have a

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party afterwards. You know, I got to say this, and

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that the vows are I don't know, I think they're

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kind of numbed people where people don't. I don't think

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people realize what a vow is anymore. They don't realize it.

375
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I mean you look at our politicians. They take vows

376
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and they break those with you know, right just throughout society.

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I don't think people realize what it is when you

378
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make a vow.

379
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Of something exactly, and as are these seminarians are making

380
00:17:02.639 --> 00:17:04.480
their vowels right now. It's cool we're talking about this

381
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and it's a covenant, right, It's not just a vowel,

382
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it's a covenant. And in the old days. You know,

383
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my deliverance coach is pretty cool. He's very, very studied

384
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and used to be a Protestant minister and had had

385
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a Saint Pollock's conversion and became Catholic and put everything

386
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on the altar. His whole family and their money and

387
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everything became Catholic. But he had talked about like in

388
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a covenant. People in the in biblical times understood very well,

389
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this is forever. This is serious, because they would they

390
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would like slice open whatever animal and they would walk

391
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around in a figure eight in the blood. Their feet

392
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would get bloody. They would make a figure eight and

393
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they would walk with God. So you know, it's like

394
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the blood the Lord, and you're walking in this circle,

395
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this figure eight circle that has no breaks in it,

396
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and you're very well aware. This is a covenant. This

397
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is serious, This is forever. This is not a contract.

398
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This is a covenant. And marriage is a covenant. And

399
00:18:01.559 --> 00:18:05.839
when priests take bowels or nuns take beows people in

400
00:18:05.880 --> 00:18:07.880
your religious life, that's a covenant.

401
00:18:08.240 --> 00:18:08.519
Yeah.

402
00:18:08.559 --> 00:18:12.599
And you know what, probably maybe human nature. We've been

403
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round enough where and lots of times. When I talk

404
00:18:15.519 --> 00:18:17.640
about people, I'm talking about myself too, because I've done

405
00:18:17.680 --> 00:18:19.359
it in the past and all that. You know, I

406
00:18:19.400 --> 00:18:22.720
don't think people like the responsibility of covenant. You know,

407
00:18:22.839 --> 00:18:25.640
that's one thing they know right, you know that's a heavy.

408
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Man, right. Everybody wants to know, well, like, well, you know,

409
00:18:29.039 --> 00:18:30.880
can I get out of this if I don't like it?

410
00:18:30.920 --> 00:18:34.599
But again, that's dying. Again, that's not really following Christ.

411
00:18:34.880 --> 00:18:37.160
You're not really dying to your flesh, right, You're you're

412
00:18:37.240 --> 00:18:39.960
still putting your own desires and your own motives ahead

413
00:18:39.960 --> 00:18:42.000
of And the thing about it is that's where the

414
00:18:42.000 --> 00:18:43.960
devil tricks you. You think you're going to be happier

415
00:18:44.480 --> 00:18:47.720
by pursuing your own will, and you're not. You're never happier,

416
00:18:47.880 --> 00:18:51.799
like you only have peace and joy once you're like, okay, God,

417
00:18:51.880 --> 00:18:54.480
your will be done, not mine, just like you know

418
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the Lord's prayer that we pray every every day mass.

419
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Yeah, and it's it's just well part of it.

420
00:19:00.319 --> 00:19:04.319
I think people aren't exercising their their in herself anymore

421
00:19:04.640 --> 00:19:07.039
to try and actually, you know, actually seek out what

422
00:19:07.119 --> 00:19:08.680
does God want from me? You know, they don't want

423
00:19:08.680 --> 00:19:10.720
to ask those deep questions and all that kind of stuff.

424
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And you know, God, what can you give me today?

425
00:19:13.319 --> 00:19:15.359
You know I was good. I helped that door for

426
00:19:15.400 --> 00:19:17.599
that old lady. So you know what's going to be

427
00:19:17.680 --> 00:19:18.400
my reward for that?

428
00:19:18.880 --> 00:19:23.519
Right? We just don't live live a self sacrificial god.

429
00:19:23.519 --> 00:19:25.480
You're in control, do what you want with me kind

430
00:19:25.480 --> 00:19:25.920
of life?

431
00:19:26.119 --> 00:19:29.480
Do we well, since we're talking about conversions today, See,

432
00:19:29.519 --> 00:19:32.079
I was a legacy. I was bored into Catholicism and

433
00:19:32.119 --> 00:19:33.720
all that kind of suess. That's all I ever knew

434
00:19:33.720 --> 00:19:35.519
growing up. You're a different story.

435
00:19:35.359 --> 00:19:38.160
Though, Yeah, I am. I was in the New Age.

436
00:19:38.839 --> 00:19:44.000
I was brought up. I think my Pentecostal grandmother probably

437
00:19:44.000 --> 00:19:45.799
has a lot to do. I'm sure she prayed for me,

438
00:19:45.839 --> 00:19:49.319
although she never told me she did, but my love

439
00:19:49.359 --> 00:19:52.759
of birds, and I'm sure she prayed for me. She

440
00:19:52.880 --> 00:19:54.680
was the only one really in my family living now

441
00:19:54.759 --> 00:19:58.279
any kind of fates. But my mom's background was Greek Orthodox,

442
00:19:58.400 --> 00:20:02.839
and my great grandparents were married about I never knew them.

443
00:20:03.319 --> 00:20:06.440
Then my dad's parents on my father's side were Pentecostal,

444
00:20:06.880 --> 00:20:09.160
so they probably prayed for me. I'm sure they did.

445
00:20:09.319 --> 00:20:12.079
But yeah, I just I didn't grow up with I

446
00:20:12.119 --> 00:20:14.319
grew up with parents that were like kind and good

447
00:20:14.319 --> 00:20:17.559
hearted people, and my mom, you know, often talked about

448
00:20:17.599 --> 00:20:19.319
the golden rule, treat people the way you want to

449
00:20:19.359 --> 00:20:22.880
be treated, and they wouldn't you know, everybody would say

450
00:20:22.920 --> 00:20:25.720
I had like just the best parents, because in the neighborhood,

451
00:20:25.720 --> 00:20:27.519
everybody wanted to hang out at my house. And my

452
00:20:27.559 --> 00:20:30.480
parents didn't get divorced, and my dad came home for

453
00:20:30.559 --> 00:20:34.920
dinner every night, but they didn't really raise me or

454
00:20:35.240 --> 00:20:37.799
into any kind of formation. And we had a Bible,

455
00:20:37.799 --> 00:20:40.640
but nobody ever opened it and nobody ever read it.

456
00:20:40.759 --> 00:20:43.599
And I don't know if I moved to Nashville to

457
00:20:43.599 --> 00:20:46.880
pursue songwriting and got it, and you know, looking for

458
00:20:47.440 --> 00:20:51.759
God was always important to me, ironically ironically growing up,

459
00:20:52.319 --> 00:20:54.440
you know the little books your mom would keep and say,

460
00:20:54.440 --> 00:20:55.480
you know, what do you want to be when you

461
00:20:55.519 --> 00:20:58.160
grow up? Here's your first grade picture or second grade

462
00:20:58.160 --> 00:21:00.400
picture or third grade You would say, what do you

463
00:21:00.400 --> 00:21:02.160
want to be when you grow up? What's your favorite food?

464
00:21:02.599 --> 00:21:05.480
Who's your best friend? And every year when she would

465
00:21:05.519 --> 00:21:07.640
ask what do you want to be when you grow up?

466
00:21:08.200 --> 00:21:10.119
I would say, I don't know if I've told you this?

467
00:21:10.279 --> 00:21:13.480
Did I ever tell you this? I said a nun

468
00:21:13.599 --> 00:21:18.480
or an actress, okay, which and my mom's response was

469
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just like, of course, she was bewildered. She was just like,

470
00:21:21.279 --> 00:21:25.119
but we're not even Catholic, Stephanie. I didn't know what

471
00:21:25.160 --> 00:21:27.960
Catholic meant. I was just like, Okay, well I don't

472
00:21:28.000 --> 00:21:29.359
know what that means, but I want to be a

473
00:21:29.440 --> 00:21:31.680
nun or an actress. And I get it now. Like

474
00:21:32.079 --> 00:21:33.799
to my mom, of course, that didn't make sense. Those

475
00:21:33.839 --> 00:21:37.480
two don't even go together. We weren't even Catholic. But

476
00:21:37.599 --> 00:21:40.200
I knew that I wanted to serve God and that

477
00:21:40.319 --> 00:21:42.039
was the most important thing. And I think I knew

478
00:21:42.039 --> 00:21:43.960
I wanted to do it through some kind of entertainment

479
00:21:44.079 --> 00:21:47.640
or media. So now I get it. You know, I

480
00:21:47.640 --> 00:21:50.960
did have years in acting. I've done plays, I've been

481
00:21:51.000 --> 00:21:52.839
in a couple of movies, a couple of music videos.

482
00:21:52.920 --> 00:21:57.039
But the spiritual path is the most important thing. And

483
00:21:57.160 --> 00:21:59.839
if I can use media to make people think different

484
00:22:00.279 --> 00:22:03.039
or to inspire then you know, or encouraged, and that's

485
00:22:03.240 --> 00:22:05.119
I think that's really where my calling is.

486
00:22:05.319 --> 00:22:06.880
That's what it called you to the gap these church.

487
00:22:07.279 --> 00:22:11.319
Well, it was a couple. There was a few experiences

488
00:22:11.480 --> 00:22:14.759
I started experiencing and it's not it's it takes me

489
00:22:14.799 --> 00:22:17.000
back to Fatima. You know, Archangel Michael was appearing to

490
00:22:17.039 --> 00:22:20.400
the children at Fatima before Mary. So I started having SOMEX.

491
00:22:20.480 --> 00:22:22.559
I was in the New Age and I started having

492
00:22:22.799 --> 00:22:28.319
some experiences of Archangel Michael. There was one wintery drive

493
00:22:28.400 --> 00:22:31.039
to Texas home for Christmas that was the roads were

494
00:22:31.079 --> 00:22:33.680
really bad. All the interstates were shut down. I thought

495
00:22:33.680 --> 00:22:35.119
we were going to run out of gas and be

496
00:22:35.160 --> 00:22:37.599
stuck on the interstate that it was very icy, and

497
00:22:37.720 --> 00:22:40.119
I was just asking Michael the whole time, please get

498
00:22:40.160 --> 00:22:42.160
us their safe. I just kept I knew that he

499
00:22:42.559 --> 00:22:44.720
was an I kind of knew about him from the

500
00:22:44.759 --> 00:22:46.960
New Age, but of course they distored everything. The New

501
00:22:47.000 --> 00:22:48.720
Age is so evil. Let me say that right off

502
00:22:48.720 --> 00:22:52.240
the bat. It's completely ruled by Satan. But I was deceived,

503
00:22:52.319 --> 00:22:54.400
and but I did know about Archangel Michael, so I

504
00:22:54.480 --> 00:22:56.680
kept calling on him to get us there safely. And

505
00:22:56.720 --> 00:22:59.559
once we got there, I saw him. That was my first,

506
00:22:59.599 --> 00:23:02.920
really probably mystical experience. I just saw him in a

507
00:23:02.920 --> 00:23:06.680
big flame of gold and purple and blue, like to say, okay,

508
00:23:06.680 --> 00:23:08.680
I got you here. It was just a flash, and

509
00:23:08.720 --> 00:23:11.160
I just saw it for a second and it was

510
00:23:11.240 --> 00:23:14.240
just just a flash. And then I continued to kind

511
00:23:14.279 --> 00:23:16.920
of feel his presence around me though, which led me

512
00:23:17.160 --> 00:23:22.000
to a meditation CD I started doing and I did it.

513
00:23:22.000 --> 00:23:23.599
It's like the Holy Spirit was on me. Every day

514
00:23:23.599 --> 00:23:25.279
I'd come home from work, I'd go in my bedroom,

515
00:23:25.319 --> 00:23:27.319
my shut the door, and I'd do this meditation CD

516
00:23:27.960 --> 00:23:30.400
and I didn't really have any kind of major experience

517
00:23:30.480 --> 00:23:33.799
for maybe a month, just got relaxed and you know,

518
00:23:34.319 --> 00:23:37.200
and then about a month into it, I found myself

519
00:23:37.240 --> 00:23:39.920
at the foot of the cross. And I wasn't asking

520
00:23:39.960 --> 00:23:42.480
to see Jesus. I wasn't really pursuing Jesus. I was

521
00:23:42.559 --> 00:23:45.640
just in the New Age, wanting to be one with source,

522
00:23:46.119 --> 00:23:48.559
you know, they would say. But then I was like

523
00:23:48.599 --> 00:23:50.880
at the foot of the cross and he was beaten

524
00:23:51.039 --> 00:23:53.599
and bloody, and I could see every wound and his

525
00:23:53.720 --> 00:23:56.279
eye was bolted out. I mean, I'm telling it was

526
00:23:56.279 --> 00:23:59.400
graphic detail. I was so close. I was stricken with

527
00:23:59.440 --> 00:24:02.079
grief and love at the same time. I've never felt

528
00:24:02.400 --> 00:24:05.519
such an intense feeling of love and every morse and

529
00:24:05.559 --> 00:24:07.680
grief because I knew, and I knew it was like

530
00:24:07.759 --> 00:24:09.720
knowledge was given to me in that moment that my

531
00:24:09.839 --> 00:24:13.000
sin contributed to putting him there. And I was just

532
00:24:13.039 --> 00:24:14.880
like there were no words spoken, but I was just like,

533
00:24:14.880 --> 00:24:16.920
I'm so sorry, and I was like in tears. I

534
00:24:16.960 --> 00:24:18.799
was like, I don't want this to be happening to you,

535
00:24:18.880 --> 00:24:21.640
and somehow, without words, he just had peace. He conveyed

536
00:24:21.680 --> 00:24:25.119
to me peace and joy, and he just said, basically,

537
00:24:25.119 --> 00:24:27.480
it's okay, it's okay, this is where I want to

538
00:24:27.519 --> 00:24:30.160
be and I'm doing this for you. And it was

539
00:24:30.680 --> 00:24:35.599
completely life altering. At that moment, I did feel he'd

540
00:24:35.599 --> 00:24:37.400
go across my wrists. I didn't, you know, I was

541
00:24:37.440 --> 00:24:39.119
in the vision, so I didn't look at it until

542
00:24:39.480 --> 00:24:41.559
he also made me aware that there was this blue

543
00:24:41.599 --> 00:24:43.519
fire in him. And then he made me aware that

544
00:24:43.559 --> 00:24:46.599
there was this blue fire in everything that was alive,

545
00:24:46.759 --> 00:24:49.440
the trees, the people. I guess it was the Holy Spirit.

546
00:24:49.720 --> 00:24:51.599
I don't really know that he made me aware that

547
00:24:51.640 --> 00:24:54.079
this blue fire was also in me and that it

548
00:24:54.119 --> 00:24:56.839
was something that connected us all and it was love.

549
00:24:57.240 --> 00:24:59.640
It was love. I just felt like it was love anyway,

550
00:24:59.720 --> 00:25:01.079
so that was kind of it. Then I was back

551
00:25:01.119 --> 00:25:03.559
in my room. I looked at my wrist and I

552
00:25:03.559 --> 00:25:06.359
had a big red mark across my wrist, as if

553
00:25:06.599 --> 00:25:09.519
a laser had It didn't hurt and it wasn't like bleeding,

554
00:25:09.559 --> 00:25:11.400
but it was a big red mark across my wrist.

555
00:25:11.839 --> 00:25:14.319
Let me know that that was a real experience to

556
00:25:14.319 --> 00:25:16.119
this day, when I'm about to go through some kind

557
00:25:16.160 --> 00:25:18.960
of pretty intense suffering, I'll get that red mark back

558
00:25:19.000 --> 00:25:21.240
on my wrist. It comes back up, and I'm like,

559
00:25:21.279 --> 00:25:23.880
oh boy, it's only recently occurred to me to start

560
00:25:23.920 --> 00:25:26.559
asking Mary to intercede and to mitigate the suffering, and

561
00:25:26.599 --> 00:25:29.440
that has seemed to work to where it's not so bad.

562
00:25:31.079 --> 00:25:33.799
But anyway, that was my first experience, and God is

563
00:25:33.839 --> 00:25:37.599
so patient because not to make this long drawn out, sorry,

564
00:25:37.640 --> 00:25:39.200
So it was a couple of years later. Then I

565
00:25:39.200 --> 00:25:41.400
went through a divorce, that marriage was annulled. I lost

566
00:25:41.440 --> 00:25:44.400
both my parents probably within a year of having that

567
00:25:44.440 --> 00:25:46.559
experience of Christ, which is probably why he came to

568
00:25:46.559 --> 00:25:49.319
me at that time. So I lost both my parents

569
00:25:49.319 --> 00:25:51.920
six weeks apart, went through a divorce, marriage, was an

570
00:25:51.920 --> 00:25:56.599
old spent a year alone, and one dark night when

571
00:25:56.599 --> 00:25:58.160
I really just didn't have any money, I didn't have

572
00:25:58.200 --> 00:25:59.920
any family. I didn't know where I was going to turn,

573
00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:01.799
and I just cried out to God and I was like,

574
00:26:01.960 --> 00:26:03.720
please help me. I don't know what to do. I

575
00:26:03.720 --> 00:26:05.880
don't know where to go, I don't know what to

576
00:26:05.880 --> 00:26:07.799
do for a job. I was only working part time.

577
00:26:09.079 --> 00:26:12.759
And then I was in a vision again, and with

578
00:26:12.799 --> 00:26:15.440
the blessed Mother. I wasn't expecting Mary. I didn't ask

579
00:26:15.480 --> 00:26:18.400
for Mary, but I was in a toy store and

580
00:26:19.119 --> 00:26:21.680
it was dark in there, and she basically said she

581
00:26:21.799 --> 00:26:23.519
was a stern mother. And a lot of people have

582
00:26:23.640 --> 00:26:25.880
reported these kind of experiences. Said she wasn't all warm

583
00:26:25.920 --> 00:26:29.400
and fuzzy, but she said, you know, God's not real

584
00:26:29.480 --> 00:26:30.920
happy with you. I was still in the New Age

585
00:26:30.920 --> 00:26:33.319
at that point. She said, God's not really happy with

586
00:26:33.359 --> 00:26:35.960
you what you're doing right now, and you have learned

587
00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:38.359
all you can learn from this toy. She said, it's

588
00:26:38.400 --> 00:26:41.400
like you're a child thrown a temper tantrum because you

589
00:26:41.440 --> 00:26:43.119
don't want to let go of your favorite toy, which

590
00:26:43.200 --> 00:26:45.160
was the marriage at the time. And she said, but

591
00:26:45.200 --> 00:26:46.880
it has shown you all it can show you. It

592
00:26:46.880 --> 00:26:48.880
has nothing left to teach you, and you need to

593
00:26:48.880 --> 00:26:51.119
put it back on the shelf. It was never God's

594
00:26:51.160 --> 00:26:54.519
plan for you. So I had no guilt or like

595
00:26:55.039 --> 00:26:56.759
it was really a gift for her to say that,

596
00:26:56.960 --> 00:26:59.960
because I'm not someone who believes in giving up on marriage.

597
00:27:00.039 --> 00:27:01.720
We said, it's a covenant. But she let me know this,

598
00:27:01.960 --> 00:27:04.359
this was not God's plan for you, and she says,

599
00:27:04.359 --> 00:27:06.200
your choice though, you can stay here and hold on

600
00:27:06.279 --> 00:27:08.559
to this and you're never going to experience anything God

601
00:27:08.599 --> 00:27:10.319
has in store for you, or you can take my

602
00:27:10.400 --> 00:27:12.599
hand and walk with me. And she showed me like

603
00:27:12.640 --> 00:27:14.839
the sunlight outside the door. She's like, God has all

604
00:27:14.839 --> 00:27:17.400
these wonderful things planned for you, but you're you're gonna

605
00:27:17.400 --> 00:27:19.079
have to follow me. You're gonna have to come with me.

606
00:27:19.559 --> 00:27:22.160
And it was like that was the second conversion in

607
00:27:22.200 --> 00:27:24.319
my heart. I was just like, I will follow you.

608
00:27:24.599 --> 00:27:30.319
That was April twenty seventh, twenty twenty eleven, no, twenty twelve, sorry,

609
00:27:30.519 --> 00:27:34.160
twenty twelve. I said, I will follow you. I will

610
00:27:34.240 --> 00:27:37.079
go wherever you're leading me. I don't want to stay here.

611
00:27:37.480 --> 00:27:39.920
And that was like a real conversion of heart. And

612
00:27:39.960 --> 00:27:42.440
from that moment on, I didn't have anxiety. I was

613
00:27:42.480 --> 00:27:45.960
having really bad anxiety before that. My anxiety laughed me

614
00:27:46.000 --> 00:27:48.319
that night. I was able to sleep that night, So

615
00:27:48.640 --> 00:27:51.920
shows you no discern things. That was fruit from that experience,

616
00:27:52.480 --> 00:27:56.000
and you know, I started going. I bought a rosary.

617
00:27:56.039 --> 00:27:57.440
I didn't know what to do with it. I just

618
00:27:57.519 --> 00:27:59.319
hung it on my wall because I thought it was pretty.

619
00:28:00.440 --> 00:28:02.559
It was years before I would ever learn to pray

620
00:28:02.599 --> 00:28:06.440
it God is so patient. But you know, I'd ended

621
00:28:06.519 --> 00:28:08.880
up writing a screenplay about her, a blog about her,

622
00:28:09.000 --> 00:28:11.920
a song about her. I just loved Mary. And within

623
00:28:11.960 --> 00:28:14.400
a year I hadn't met a guy that was raised

624
00:28:14.440 --> 00:28:16.799
Catholic like you, and he had read my blog and

625
00:28:16.839 --> 00:28:18.960
I remember him saying, are you Catholic? And I was

626
00:28:19.000 --> 00:28:23.200
like no, it's like no, I would never be Catholic,

627
00:28:23.319 --> 00:28:25.720
you know, the kind of thing. And I was like,

628
00:28:25.720 --> 00:28:28.839
but I love Mary anyway. So we started dating and

629
00:28:28.920 --> 00:28:32.920
within a year I was in Rcia. In April twenty thirteen,

630
00:28:33.279 --> 00:28:38.000
I became Catholic. So you know, well, my story in

631
00:28:38.039 --> 00:28:39.039
a nutshell.

632
00:28:39.680 --> 00:28:42.240
Well, between back then and even lack last night, as

633
00:28:42.279 --> 00:28:45.039
soon as you finally every time you've always given yourself up,

634
00:28:45.079 --> 00:28:46.720
that's right, when you feel total peace.

635
00:28:46.759 --> 00:28:49.640
You're right, you're right. Thanks for pointing that out. I

636
00:28:50.039 --> 00:28:53.599
didn't think of it that way. That's a really good point, Jeff. Yeah,

637
00:28:53.720 --> 00:28:56.319
So when we totally give ourselves over to God, he

638
00:28:56.400 --> 00:28:58.599
wants to bring us peace, He wants to bring us

639
00:28:59.079 --> 00:29:01.200
love and joy and protect us.

640
00:29:01.279 --> 00:29:05.480
Right, yeah, totally, And you know lots of time everything, Well,

641
00:29:05.480 --> 00:29:07.559
when you hit rock bottom, that's when God helps you out.

642
00:29:07.839 --> 00:29:09.759
I think if you paid attention on the way down,

643
00:29:09.799 --> 00:29:11.599
you wouldn't have to go all the way to rock

644
00:29:11.680 --> 00:29:13.160
bottom before he'd help you out.

645
00:29:13.720 --> 00:29:17.119
Absolutely, because there were definitely red signs, I mean red

646
00:29:17.119 --> 00:29:19.359
flags on the way down. I could look back at

647
00:29:19.400 --> 00:29:21.720
a lot of red flags where God was saying, hey,

648
00:29:23.279 --> 00:29:26.640
you know, I'm here if you don't want to go

649
00:29:26.839 --> 00:29:29.200
all the way down this bad path, and I ignore,

650
00:29:29.359 --> 00:29:32.200
you're right, ignored them till I hit rock bottom. It

651
00:29:32.319 --> 00:29:34.599
just seems to be our human nature, right, We just

652
00:29:34.960 --> 00:29:37.799
somehow God can't get through to us until we're completely broken.

653
00:29:38.200 --> 00:29:40.680
Well, and I mean I mean it goes all the

654
00:29:40.720 --> 00:29:42.680
way back from the from the beginning. I mean, like

655
00:29:42.720 --> 00:29:45.039
the Apostles here they are walking with Jesus and they're

656
00:29:45.319 --> 00:29:47.400
then they're arguing about which one's the best.

657
00:29:47.839 --> 00:29:52.599
You know that's true, and the Jesus right.

658
00:29:52.799 --> 00:29:55.200
Or even like doubting Thomas, you know he's sitting there,

659
00:29:55.200 --> 00:29:59.160
oh he rose, Oh yeah, right, you know right, or

660
00:29:59.480 --> 00:30:01.279
you know pretty much all of them, you know they

661
00:30:01.920 --> 00:30:04.119
saw all these things and that they still I mean,

662
00:30:04.559 --> 00:30:06.119
I can't see how you could see a guy walk

663
00:30:06.160 --> 00:30:07.839
on the lake and then ever doubt.

664
00:30:07.640 --> 00:30:12.400
Again, I know you're right, but it still requires belief.

665
00:30:12.799 --> 00:30:15.279
There was a priest just about a week a couple

666
00:30:15.319 --> 00:30:18.359
of weeks ago when they did that. The reading of

667
00:30:18.400 --> 00:30:21.680
the day was when Thomas, you know where Jesus said,

668
00:30:21.799 --> 00:30:24.119
you know, blessed or those you have seen, so you believed,

669
00:30:24.119 --> 00:30:26.759
But blessed are those who have not seen and yet believed.

670
00:30:27.039 --> 00:30:29.440
And he said that scripture he had the best humbly

671
00:30:29.480 --> 00:30:32.000
about that scripture I've ever heard. He said that scripture

672
00:30:32.039 --> 00:30:34.680
always confused me because all these people had seen, like

673
00:30:34.720 --> 00:30:37.960
you said, Jesus walk on water, He'll raise the dead,

674
00:30:38.039 --> 00:30:40.400
heal the sick, you know, give sight to the blind.

675
00:30:40.599 --> 00:30:43.240
And why did they have to have belief? He said,

676
00:30:43.400 --> 00:30:46.480
I think we always still have to have belief, because

677
00:30:47.000 --> 00:30:49.240
he said, if a pink elephant flew through the air

678
00:30:49.319 --> 00:30:52.279
right now into this cathedral and passed us all by

679
00:30:52.400 --> 00:30:54.839
and then blew out that window, even though we all

680
00:30:54.880 --> 00:30:58.039
saw it, it's so out of the ordinary, we would

681
00:30:58.039 --> 00:31:01.440
still have to have faith and believe to accept it, right,

682
00:31:01.559 --> 00:31:03.440
or we would talk ourselves we blow when we were

683
00:31:03.480 --> 00:31:05.640
just imagining it, or that didn't really happen. We would

684
00:31:05.640 --> 00:31:07.839
talk ourselves out of it. I thought that was the

685
00:31:07.880 --> 00:31:11.599
best analogy because, like I just shared a lot of

686
00:31:11.599 --> 00:31:13.680
the things that have happened in my life. I could

687
00:31:13.720 --> 00:31:15.920
talk myself out of all that didn't really happen, or

688
00:31:15.920 --> 00:31:19.559
maybe I'm crazy. There's times some fault like am I crazy?

689
00:31:20.119 --> 00:31:22.759
Like I've had these experiences, I'm like, am I crazy?

690
00:31:22.880 --> 00:31:27.079
But no, it's thank God. God's given me the grace

691
00:31:27.079 --> 00:31:28.359
of faith and belief.

692
00:31:28.720 --> 00:31:31.519
And one bort thing what you said there, like I

693
00:31:32.640 --> 00:31:34.799
like that pink ellow it flying through the air thing.

694
00:31:35.160 --> 00:31:37.839
A lot of times though, if you notice like that's

695
00:31:37.839 --> 00:31:40.960
something that you'll see it that you won't actually tell

696
00:31:41.039 --> 00:31:42.799
the person next to you that you saw it. You know,

697
00:31:42.880 --> 00:31:45.279
it's kind of like right, and so you're able to

698
00:31:45.319 --> 00:31:47.400
talk yourself out. And it's kind of like with God

699
00:31:47.720 --> 00:31:49.599
when he does something good, people are like, no one's

700
00:31:49.599 --> 00:31:51.240
going to believe me when I told him this, you know,

701
00:31:51.359 --> 00:31:53.519
it's like, right, I prayed for God and then all

702
00:31:53.559 --> 00:31:54.519
sud bam it happened.

703
00:31:54.559 --> 00:31:55.880
You know, they're not going to believe.

704
00:31:55.599 --> 00:31:57.000
That kind of exactly.

705
00:31:57.359 --> 00:31:59.480
But if you just share it and then well, yeah

706
00:31:59.480 --> 00:32:00.400
I saw it too.

707
00:32:01.119 --> 00:32:04.079
Yeah exactly, And and God has graced me with so

708
00:32:04.200 --> 00:32:07.359
many actually so many like you know, you and I

709
00:32:07.359 --> 00:32:10.480
have shared some stories personally that we might not get

710
00:32:10.519 --> 00:32:12.960
into today, but you and like some of the women

711
00:32:13.000 --> 00:32:17.359
in my life that have had really amazing experiences like that,

712
00:32:17.359 --> 00:32:21.039
that do experience God on a mystical or a supernatural level.

713
00:32:21.119 --> 00:32:23.039
I mean, I think I think, you know, if you're

714
00:32:23.079 --> 00:32:25.599
open to God, you're going to experience that at some

715
00:32:25.720 --> 00:32:28.519
point because He wants to have that close of a

716
00:32:28.559 --> 00:32:29.839
relationship with us.

717
00:32:30.039 --> 00:32:32.400
Yeah, and it's kind of it's kind of weird to

718
00:32:32.400 --> 00:32:34.960
help me will show it too that this is going

719
00:32:35.039 --> 00:32:37.759
to be really selfish and really goofy. I mean, but

720
00:32:38.839 --> 00:32:40.799
I think ever since I was a little kid, when

721
00:32:40.839 --> 00:32:42.119
I would sit there and go to church and you

722
00:32:42.319 --> 00:32:44.240
didn't pay attention to the priest or anything. You know,

723
00:32:44.279 --> 00:32:46.359
you just were putting in your forty five minutes and

724
00:32:46.359 --> 00:32:48.519
doing your Catholic talent stakes and then going.

725
00:32:48.400 --> 00:32:50.160
On right football or something.

726
00:32:50.440 --> 00:32:52.599
But I don't know if it was a sermon I

727
00:32:52.640 --> 00:32:55.680
heard or something about the priest talking about angels. So

728
00:32:56.319 --> 00:32:59.759
probably what forty five years later, you know, when the

729
00:33:00.640 --> 00:33:02.920
priest is, you know, blessing the sacrament and all that

730
00:33:03.000 --> 00:33:05.079
kind of stuff in you're on your knees. For some reason,

731
00:33:05.079 --> 00:33:08.400
I still look at the altar and I searched the altar.

732
00:33:08.440 --> 00:33:11.240
I'm looking for an angel because I want I want

733
00:33:11.279 --> 00:33:12.559
to I want to be seeing and I want to

734
00:33:12.559 --> 00:33:17.279
see an angel. You know, it's right, it's not like

735
00:33:17.359 --> 00:33:19.039
I don't believe you, but I still just want to

736
00:33:19.039 --> 00:33:19.359
see an.

737
00:33:19.279 --> 00:33:23.799
Angel, yes, exactly. And from my experience, all I can

738
00:33:23.880 --> 00:33:26.200
share is my own personal experience. The only times I've

739
00:33:26.200 --> 00:33:28.720
had these mystical experiences have been when I've either been

740
00:33:28.960 --> 00:33:32.359
very very broken, really crying out to God, I'm not

741
00:33:32.400 --> 00:33:35.079
going to make it. You've got to help me. Or

742
00:33:35.640 --> 00:33:37.720
they've been times when I've just been in a really

743
00:33:37.759 --> 00:33:41.079
high stated gratitude and not expecting or asking to see anything,

744
00:33:41.119 --> 00:33:43.559
when I'm just like, God, You're so awesome. I'm just

745
00:33:43.720 --> 00:33:45.880
thank you so much for this, you know whatever. When

746
00:33:45.880 --> 00:33:49.680
I'm just really thankful, or when i'm really broken, that

747
00:33:49.680 --> 00:33:52.079
that tends to be when I've had the experiences.

748
00:33:52.319 --> 00:33:54.599
You know, I got this one little little trick, not

749
00:33:54.640 --> 00:33:57.759
even a trick that was a bad word, but our

750
00:33:57.759 --> 00:34:00.880
priests has been about a year now and just for everybody.

751
00:34:01.319 --> 00:34:04.079
And when the priest told him said it during the Masth,

752
00:34:04.160 --> 00:34:06.000
it's kind of like, okay, but then I went ahead

753
00:34:06.000 --> 00:34:08.719
and tried it. He was talking about the Trinity and everything.

754
00:34:08.719 --> 00:34:10.480
And he said, you know, throughout the day, just for

755
00:34:10.559 --> 00:34:13.000
no reason, whatever you're doing, just do the Sign of

756
00:34:13.000 --> 00:34:15.440
the Cross, Father Son, Holy Spirit, and just do it

757
00:34:15.519 --> 00:34:17.519
as many times it can as you can during the day.

758
00:34:17.679 --> 00:34:19.039
You know, you don't even have to say a prayer.

759
00:34:19.199 --> 00:34:19.639
Just do it.

760
00:34:19.880 --> 00:34:22.480
And I was like, okay, I don't. My mom was

761
00:34:22.519 --> 00:34:24.519
sick and the same thing that you are. You know,

762
00:34:24.559 --> 00:34:26.480
I didn't really have anything going on. So throughout the

763
00:34:26.519 --> 00:34:28.599
day I would just okay, and I'd do the Sign

764
00:34:28.639 --> 00:34:30.199
of the Cross, or if i'd get in the car

765
00:34:30.280 --> 00:34:32.280
to go for a drive, right and sign the cross. Okay, God,

766
00:34:32.280 --> 00:34:33.719
thank you for letting me go to the grocery store

767
00:34:33.719 --> 00:34:35.719
and having the money whatever. And I'll tell you what,

768
00:34:35.760 --> 00:34:38.199
over the last year, by doing the Sign of the Cross,

769
00:34:38.199 --> 00:34:41.159
probably ten or twelve times a day, I think I

770
00:34:41.159 --> 00:34:43.559
had gotten closer to God than I had in the

771
00:34:43.599 --> 00:34:45.519
previous fifty seven years of my life.

772
00:34:45.840 --> 00:34:49.360
That's awesome. That shows what power that there is in that.

773
00:34:49.880 --> 00:34:53.159
And you know, my priest friend that actually married my husband,

774
00:34:53.159 --> 00:34:57.159
and if Father dan'stein or I love him, he told

775
00:34:57.199 --> 00:35:00.599
a story that it's it's lad it's more like tradition.

776
00:35:01.079 --> 00:35:04.719
I don't think it's actually documented anywhere, but apparently Saint Mark,

777
00:35:05.360 --> 00:35:08.320
you know Mark, Matthew Mark, and then the Mark that

778
00:35:08.440 --> 00:35:12.840
walked with Jesus. He had someone, you know, someone was

779
00:35:12.920 --> 00:35:15.119
challenging the sign of the Cross, and he grabbed a

780
00:35:15.119 --> 00:35:17.199
little girl from the from the crowd and he said,

781
00:35:17.639 --> 00:35:20.119
there was like there was a demon and in the crowd,

782
00:35:20.199 --> 00:35:22.360
and he said, make the sign of the cross. Because

783
00:35:22.360 --> 00:35:24.360
he knew she was pure and she was just a child,

784
00:35:24.480 --> 00:35:26.400
she was very pure. She made the sign of the

785
00:35:26.480 --> 00:35:29.800
Cross and everybody was able to witness how the demons fled.

786
00:35:30.320 --> 00:35:32.000
And he said, now that's why we make the sign

787
00:35:32.079 --> 00:35:34.119
of the Cross, because when you make it from your

788
00:35:34.159 --> 00:35:37.239
heart and with faith, that's how powerful it is.

789
00:35:37.719 --> 00:35:39.880
Yeah, and it kind of it just pulls you back

790
00:35:39.920 --> 00:35:42.280
from your regular life to remind you that there is

791
00:35:42.400 --> 00:35:44.199
something greater than you are, you know, and you're just

792
00:35:44.960 --> 00:35:46.960
it's just kind of like, hey, father, it's the only spirit.

793
00:35:47.000 --> 00:35:48.920
Okay, then you go by your dad. At least you're

794
00:35:49.239 --> 00:35:51.000
pulling you back a little bit, pulling you back a

795
00:35:51.039 --> 00:35:51.360
little bit.

796
00:35:51.440 --> 00:35:53.039
And then like I said, over the last year, it's

797
00:35:53.039 --> 00:35:54.800
pulling me back enough where I've actually been able to

798
00:35:54.840 --> 00:35:56.960
get a lot more touch and feel a lot closer.

799
00:35:56.960 --> 00:35:59.039
I guess you could say, right, and then I'm so

800
00:35:59.159 --> 00:36:02.760
sorry about your mom actually just passed. And also that

801
00:36:02.880 --> 00:36:05.559
brings you closer to God when you're going through grief,

802
00:36:05.639 --> 00:36:07.360
and you and I've talked a little bit about grief

803
00:36:07.400 --> 00:36:11.320
and grief is such a purifying process. It's a painful process,

804
00:36:11.559 --> 00:36:14.840
but it's such a purifying process if you can draw

805
00:36:14.920 --> 00:36:18.000
closer to God through it. And I'm just, yeah, I'm

806
00:36:18.039 --> 00:36:19.320
really sorry you've had to go.

807
00:36:19.440 --> 00:36:20.559
Through that, but thank you.

808
00:36:20.920 --> 00:36:22.960
Well, that's one thing about I think that since we're

809
00:36:23.000 --> 00:36:25.599
talking about priest going through my mom's funeral and all

810
00:36:25.599 --> 00:36:27.360
that kind of stuff, and the priests and the deacons

811
00:36:27.440 --> 00:36:29.800
and they were the church was awesome. You know, they

812
00:36:29.840 --> 00:36:31.599
were just so great through the whole thing, you know,

813
00:36:32.320 --> 00:36:35.519
of you know, father death, my mom took a turn.

814
00:36:36.000 --> 00:36:38.559
You know, he had given her an annoytment for the

815
00:36:38.639 --> 00:36:40.599
sick like a couple of months before, and I go,

816
00:36:40.719 --> 00:36:43.559
what do we do for They were just out here

817
00:36:43.559 --> 00:36:45.239
and they said he might not make it through the night,

818
00:36:45.360 --> 00:36:47.800
So what do we do about last rites? He said, okay,

819
00:36:47.920 --> 00:36:49.760
I'll be over in about ten minutes, you know, And

820
00:36:50.239 --> 00:36:56.079
then at the mass, tiny church will we have three deacons. Well,

821
00:36:57.400 --> 00:36:59.800
so at her funeral, all three deacons are there along

822
00:36:59.840 --> 00:37:02.199
with mass and all that kind of stuff and h

823
00:37:03.079 --> 00:37:05.199
But the priests and the deacons and all that kind

824
00:37:05.199 --> 00:37:08.039
of stuff, I think they get it. I think because

825
00:37:08.119 --> 00:37:10.960
you think about it. When somebody dies and we are

826
00:37:11.119 --> 00:37:13.519
so crushed, we should be happy. I mean, they are

827
00:37:13.599 --> 00:37:15.719
going home, they're going to heaven, They're going to go

828
00:37:15.760 --> 00:37:17.960
see Jesus and God and all that kind of stuff, right,

829
00:37:18.079 --> 00:37:21.599
and this moment that should be like, well you made it,

830
00:37:21.760 --> 00:37:23.039
you know, instead of like all.

831
00:37:23.039 --> 00:37:26.920
Sadden right, right, we kind of I mean we're sad

832
00:37:26.960 --> 00:37:29.719
for ourselves. We should be happy for them, and now

833
00:37:29.760 --> 00:37:31.760
we have someone in heaven praying for us, right so,

834
00:37:32.480 --> 00:37:34.519
or even if they're in purgatory praying for us. That's

835
00:37:34.639 --> 00:37:38.119
very powerful. You know, I've read it. I've read the

836
00:37:38.360 --> 00:37:42.079
I think you even read it. The manuscript unpublished manuscript

837
00:37:42.159 --> 00:37:45.400
of Purgatory that Maria Simma you've heard of that. Yeah,

838
00:37:45.920 --> 00:37:49.760
very powerful, a lot of information about purgatory. But Jesus said,

839
00:37:49.800 --> 00:37:52.519
I'm closest to those in purgatory. I answered their prayers

840
00:37:52.559 --> 00:37:54.320
first because they are suffering the most.

841
00:37:54.719 --> 00:37:55.199
Yeah, that's it.

842
00:37:55.719 --> 00:37:57.320
That'll be We're going to have to talk about purgatory

843
00:37:57.360 --> 00:37:59.639
on one of our shows. That's just we need a

844
00:37:59.679 --> 00:38:03.280
whole that again to start getting into it, because then

845
00:38:03.360 --> 00:38:05.719
we'll be we'll be way off of what we were gotten.

846
00:38:07.239 --> 00:38:09.679
So back to back to suffering. I mean, you just

847
00:38:09.760 --> 00:38:12.280
can't say. I you know, I have suffered more since

848
00:38:12.280 --> 00:38:16.800
I've become Catholic, but I've also had more miracles, more grace,

849
00:38:16.920 --> 00:38:19.440
more joy, more favor. I feel God's favor on me.

850
00:38:19.480 --> 00:38:23.760
I mean almost anything I ask for that's spiritual, you know,

851
00:38:24.159 --> 00:38:25.679
Like I said, yeah, I want a new car. My

852
00:38:25.760 --> 00:38:28.760
car is not doing great. I haven't gotten that. But

853
00:38:29.599 --> 00:38:32.800
if I ask for like you know, strength or faith

854
00:38:33.039 --> 00:38:35.679
or or I just feel lonely, that someone always shows

855
00:38:35.719 --> 00:38:37.400
up at the door calls me at that moment, like

856
00:38:37.480 --> 00:38:39.159
God does provide. You know.

857
00:38:39.239 --> 00:38:40.039
It's kind of funny.

858
00:38:40.440 --> 00:38:42.800
I think I talked about a little bit earlier about

859
00:38:42.960 --> 00:38:45.039
half hearted prayers and all that kind of stuff. It's

860
00:38:45.119 --> 00:38:47.519
kind of funny like something that throughout your life feel

861
00:38:47.559 --> 00:38:49.519
like God, please help me, you know, let my car

862
00:38:49.599 --> 00:38:51.440
not break down. You know, I don't have anybody, you know,

863
00:38:51.960 --> 00:38:53.840
please don't let me get out in the car, and

864
00:38:53.920 --> 00:38:56.000
all that kind of stuff, and I think, involved me,

865
00:38:56.119 --> 00:38:56.800
that's kind of burst.

866
00:38:57.000 --> 00:38:57.920
But then you'll do something.

867
00:38:57.960 --> 00:38:59.760
You'll be like, you'll be looking for a phone number

868
00:38:59.800 --> 00:39:01.800
that you haven't seen it in like six months, and

869
00:39:01.840 --> 00:39:04.519
it's like you have to have it, good man, Come on, God,

870
00:39:04.519 --> 00:39:06.360
where's that phone number at? And then five seconds later

871
00:39:06.400 --> 00:39:07.840
you move something, there's that phone number.

872
00:39:08.119 --> 00:39:12.159
It's like, right, all these little miracles, Yeah, all these

873
00:39:12.159 --> 00:39:14.320
little miracles. So just if we if we can watch

874
00:39:14.400 --> 00:39:19.679
for them, they're there. And I think the Bible says

875
00:39:19.679 --> 00:39:21.800
it's impossible to please God without faith. I think the

876
00:39:21.840 --> 00:39:23.800
more faith you have, the more he loves to just

877
00:39:23.920 --> 00:39:26.000
shower those little things onto you.

878
00:39:26.559 --> 00:39:27.960
And I think it's easier for him.

879
00:39:28.239 --> 00:39:30.679
And then what I mean and that I think if

880
00:39:30.719 --> 00:39:33.360
you have faith and you're looking for his help, it's

881
00:39:33.400 --> 00:39:35.760
easier for him to give it. You don't have the faith.

882
00:39:35.840 --> 00:39:37.519
He can give you the exact same thing, but if

883
00:39:37.519 --> 00:39:40.239
you're not looking for it, you're not gonna accept it

884
00:39:40.280 --> 00:39:41.239
and take it and run with it.

885
00:39:41.679 --> 00:39:44.840
Right. He's like, well, I'm not gonna waste my tom And.

886
00:39:44.920 --> 00:39:46.639
He might not even be wasting. He might do it.

887
00:39:47.039 --> 00:39:49.840
You just don't see it, you know, kind of you say,

888
00:39:50.119 --> 00:39:52.079
you know God, help me. I need a job, and

889
00:39:52.800 --> 00:39:56.280
he says, okay, Well you go to say McDonald's and

890
00:39:56.400 --> 00:39:59.719
you're sitting there and there's an old gentleman who's sitting

891
00:39:59.719 --> 00:40:02.880
there having coffee or something in his big muffin, and

892
00:40:03.320 --> 00:40:04.960
you could sit down, but now I'll just go eat

893
00:40:05.000 --> 00:40:07.039
my car. Or if you had just satting down with him,

894
00:40:07.039 --> 00:40:08.079
he could have gotten your job.

895
00:40:09.679 --> 00:40:12.960
Yeah, it's learning to listen to those little nudges. Yeah,

896
00:40:13.519 --> 00:40:14.760
being open, I guess to.

897
00:40:14.800 --> 00:40:17.360
God that's the best one, just being open.

898
00:40:17.840 --> 00:40:20.360
Just being open. Yeah, he can't get in if he's

899
00:40:20.519 --> 00:40:22.079
you know, he's a gentleman. He's not going to push

900
00:40:22.119 --> 00:40:24.280
the door open like Satan does. He's gonna wait till

901
00:40:24.280 --> 00:40:24.960
you invite him.

902
00:40:25.880 --> 00:40:28.239
You know, that's exactly. And that what you said.

903
00:40:28.280 --> 00:40:30.599
I just throwd it not too long ago. Somebody written

904
00:40:30.599 --> 00:40:32.760
it up. I don't remember it if you remember, right,

905
00:40:32.840 --> 00:40:35.519
and all Jesus is preaching and all that kind of stuff.

906
00:40:35.679 --> 00:40:38.039
He never chased anybody or went back after him. He

907
00:40:38.119 --> 00:40:40.280
gave what his sad and then he was done. You know,

908
00:40:40.400 --> 00:40:42.599
it's not like he you know, it's not like he

909
00:40:42.639 --> 00:40:44.440
didn't give you a second chance. He just said this

910
00:40:44.639 --> 00:40:46.519
is it and then there's that you can either follow

911
00:40:46.599 --> 00:40:50.239
me or you can't. You care you're gonna follow me

912
00:40:50.400 --> 00:40:52.559
or not. I'm not going to chase you around begging you.

913
00:40:52.760 --> 00:40:56.239
Yeah, listen to me. Yeah. He wasn't going to beg anybody.

914
00:40:56.320 --> 00:40:58.360
He wasn't gonna pound him over the head with it.

915
00:40:58.840 --> 00:41:00.840
Yeah yeah, yeah.

916
00:41:02.480 --> 00:41:04.079
You know, And when we talk about suffering and all

917
00:41:04.119 --> 00:41:06.599
that kind of stuff, I kind of like try and

918
00:41:07.119 --> 00:41:10.400
not equate myself with like people throughout history or anything

919
00:41:10.480 --> 00:41:13.039
like that, but try and put myself into it, you know,

920
00:41:13.159 --> 00:41:16.920
like you think suffering like Peter, you know, if I

921
00:41:17.039 --> 00:41:19.679
was going to be killed, would I actually do the

922
00:41:19.760 --> 00:41:21.920
most painfully and be crucified upside down?

923
00:41:22.239 --> 00:41:24.960
You know? It's kind of like, man, that's some faith

924
00:41:25.039 --> 00:41:27.519
and then that kind of thing, Man, God, how can

925
00:41:27.559 --> 00:41:28.280
I get that faith?

926
00:41:28.480 --> 00:41:28.639
You know?

927
00:41:28.719 --> 00:41:31.199
I really love to be able to. I just don't

928
00:41:31.199 --> 00:41:31.880
know if I could do that.

929
00:41:32.519 --> 00:41:35.039
That's just like love. I think that's just like that

930
00:41:35.199 --> 00:41:39.039
deep love, that reverence of will, willingness to when you

931
00:41:39.159 --> 00:41:41.400
love someone that much and you realize how much they

932
00:41:41.519 --> 00:41:43.719
love you and how much they've suffered for you. I

933
00:41:43.920 --> 00:41:46.480
think it's natural just to be like, what can I do?

934
00:41:46.960 --> 00:41:49.239
Like how much of myself. Can I give you to

935
00:41:49.360 --> 00:41:51.920
pay you back? And I'll never pay you back for

936
00:41:52.000 --> 00:41:54.039
what you've given me, but yeah, let me give you

937
00:41:54.079 --> 00:41:54.360
all I.

938
00:41:54.400 --> 00:41:59.000
Can and then okay, now so we've gotten y'all. We

939
00:41:59.159 --> 00:42:02.320
love our priests. We loved Saint Vannie for blessing our priest,

940
00:42:02.679 --> 00:42:05.840
and yeah, well I don't know how you can recruit him.

941
00:42:05.880 --> 00:42:08.360
I mean, I know the Catholic churches died, but I

942
00:42:08.639 --> 00:42:11.880
she'er liked for some young men who just feel the

943
00:42:11.960 --> 00:42:14.599
calling but not being scared. I think, because that's such

944
00:42:14.679 --> 00:42:18.199
a need to talk about answering a calling. Now, that's

945
00:42:18.440 --> 00:42:19.679
the that's hard to get.

946
00:42:20.400 --> 00:42:22.800
Well, I think there's a surge. I mean from everything

947
00:42:22.840 --> 00:42:25.440
I'm hearing, there's a surge of very really holy young

948
00:42:25.559 --> 00:42:28.039
men wanting to become priests. I think the priesthood is

949
00:42:28.119 --> 00:42:32.280
on the uprise. Catholicism is on the upprise, which is awesome.

950
00:42:32.360 --> 00:42:36.280
I think we're entering into times of tribulation but also

951
00:42:36.360 --> 00:42:40.039
times of revival and like I said, the best of times,

952
00:42:40.039 --> 00:42:42.559
the worst of times. But I'll end it with a

953
00:42:42.679 --> 00:42:45.400
story my priest's friend told me, and it kind of

954
00:42:45.440 --> 00:42:49.280
goes back to John Beyonni and wanting God's will, He said,

955
00:42:49.360 --> 00:42:51.760
he he kind of felt like he was supposed to

956
00:42:51.800 --> 00:42:53.360
be a priest, but he was engaged, had to plan

957
00:42:53.559 --> 00:42:56.039
for his life, and was trying to go through all

958
00:42:56.079 --> 00:42:58.199
this discernment trying to figure out what he wanted. What,

959
00:42:58.519 --> 00:42:59.960
don't want to be a priest, don't want to get married?

960
00:43:00.119 --> 00:43:02.119
Do you know all this? And he loved the ocean,

961
00:43:02.159 --> 00:43:03.440
so he went to the ocean. He was sitting on

962
00:43:03.480 --> 00:43:05.960
a rock in the middle of the ocean, still trying

963
00:43:05.960 --> 00:43:08.440
to figure it out. He'd gone on mission trips even

964
00:43:08.480 --> 00:43:10.639
he had even had the grace of like seeing Christ

965
00:43:10.880 --> 00:43:14.599
in India in a guy when he was changing the bandage.

966
00:43:14.639 --> 00:43:16.880
It was really gross, like the guy had gangreen and

967
00:43:17.119 --> 00:43:20.440
changing his bandage and saw literally his face went away

968
00:43:20.480 --> 00:43:23.079
and it became the face of Christ. So God was

969
00:43:23.159 --> 00:43:25.519
already pouring like a lot of grace onto him, and

970
00:43:26.480 --> 00:43:29.239
he's a very holy, awesome priest now. But anyway, he

971
00:43:29.360 --> 00:43:31.519
was sitting on this rock trying to figure out what

972
00:43:31.639 --> 00:43:34.079
he wanted to do, and he finally heard God say,

973
00:43:34.719 --> 00:43:36.920
you know, you haven't once asked me what I want?

974
00:43:37.360 --> 00:43:39.480
And that hit him. He's like, it hit me like

975
00:43:39.519 --> 00:43:41.360
a ton of bricks, and he said, Okay, God, what

976
00:43:41.480 --> 00:43:43.199
do you want? And he said, I want you to

977
00:43:43.239 --> 00:43:46.800
become my priest, real clear, and he was like okay.

978
00:43:46.920 --> 00:43:48.760
From that moment on, I said, did you ever look

979
00:43:48.800 --> 00:43:51.760
back or regret it? And he's like, nope, never, never

980
00:43:51.840 --> 00:43:53.960
have regretted it, just went full force into it.

981
00:43:54.039 --> 00:43:55.920
After that, Well, that is totally awesome.

982
00:43:56.239 --> 00:43:58.039
Yeah, so we got to remember to ask God what

983
00:43:58.119 --> 00:43:58.840
he wants.

984
00:44:00.000 --> 00:44:02.199
And that would actually save us a lot of trouble

985
00:44:02.760 --> 00:44:03.519
if we.

986
00:44:03.559 --> 00:44:06.360
Want, save us a lot of trouble. Yeah, and bring

987
00:44:06.480 --> 00:44:07.599
us a lot of joy too.

988
00:44:07.639 --> 00:44:09.239
Right, exactly right.

989
00:44:09.320 --> 00:44:09.599
I think.

990
00:44:10.440 --> 00:44:12.800
Well, i'd like to tease the next show on what

991
00:44:12.840 --> 00:44:14.880
we're going to talk about how you listeners, But we

992
00:44:14.960 --> 00:44:17.280
can't because we just let we don't know. We're going

993
00:44:17.360 --> 00:44:18.920
to let the Holy Spirit come talk to us and

994
00:44:18.960 --> 00:44:20.320
that's what we're going to talk about next time.

995
00:44:20.639 --> 00:44:23.360
Yeah, and hopefully enjoyed today. It was fun sharing with

996
00:44:23.480 --> 00:44:25.639
you guys, and always great talking to you, Jeff.

997
00:44:25.960 --> 00:44:29.039
It was also all right, God, bless y'all. We'll talk

998
00:44:29.079 --> 00:44:29.559
to you soon,